Page 79 of Pining for You

“I’m sorry,” I say, when it dawns on me. “Is that thing made of fruitcake?”

“Lit, right?” Carlos waggles his eyebrows and nods.

“Finally,” Cash says. “Someone who understands me.”

We all follow Diya’s lead in turns and when I get back from the restroom, I find her staring into space, alone. She’s been quieter than usual since we reconvened.

“Penny for your thoughts? Or maybe a quarter for some pinball?” I gesture to the extensive selection of machines lining the wall beyond the gender-neutral bathrooms.

“They cost three dollars and it’s Apple Pay,” she says, without looking at me.

“Right, obviously.”

I lean against the wall beside her in one of the few open spaces as we both exhale for the first time today and try to take it all in.

“Man, Bosley, I see why you love this city.”

Now I freeze. I worry that if I move, I might scare her off and ruin whatever is happening right now. Is Diya about to admit that she’s sold on Brooklyn?

“Right?” I agree, trying to stay casual, afraid to push too hard until I hear more from her.

“Oh, also? Those tamales!” she says.

“Right?” I repeat, louder this time.

“Epicurean excellence.” She seals the review with a chef’s kiss, and that’s it. I can’t help it. All the emotions hit me at once—and I turn and hug her so tight, it’s probably dangerous.

“Jeez, Bosley, what the—”

“I’m so glad you came today,” I say into her collar.

“As if I was going to miss you finally getting your first kiss!” she says, pushing back and looking at me like I’ve lost it. Which, maybe I have a little.

“Not just that,” I say. “I’ve been trying so hard to get you to come around on New York. All this time, I didn’t realize all we had to do was bring you here!”

“What do you mean?” Now Diya looks genuinely puzzled.

“Well, you just said yourself that you get it! Maybe now we can look for schools you can apply to next year, so we can all be together after you graduate! I mean, don’t worry. I’ll still visit you in Ripton next year. And of course, kidnap you to Brooklyn from time to time.”

Diya is silent again.

“I mean… right?” I ask, slowing down.

“Oh, B,” Diya says, still looking sad. “Always writing your own version of reality.”

“What do you mean?”

“That’s not… No. You’re right that I’ve been taking an interest in New York, but that’s because I love you guys and I want to know about your future life. Today was just a chance for me to see it in person. And you’re totally right that today helped me see how fun it is to visit—although I may not have chosen the eve of the apocalypse…”

“Fair,” I say.

“And I wish I could say I wanted it. It would make my life a lot easier too, trust me. What I meant when I said I see why you love it, was that I see why you love it, because it’s perfect for you. I can see that really clearly after today. But… I’m just not a city girl, B. I mean, come on—the concrete to chlorophyll ratio is a literal assault on my nervous system!”

My heart sinks as I cast for a counterpoint.

“Are you sure?” I ask. “I mean, I hear you, but how do you not love this? Trade-offs, right?”

I gesture around the space, and as if on cue, some dude-bro smashes into my shoulder and spills half his beer on my shoe, and then continues on his way like he didn’t even notice. I laugh, even though I could also cry. I’m doomed to soggy shoes.