Page 83 of Pining for You

“This is the iconic Italian Christmas bread, with candied orange peel and raisins—” Cash’s hand smacks our buzzer before the question even comes fully out of their mouth.

“Pizza!” he shouts, and we all look at him, incredulous.

“He’s joking,” Eve jumps in. “He means panettone.”

“Correct! One point for the Royal Tannenbaums!” DeSantos says, grinning stiffly. “Though perhaps I should be clearer that only the first answer will be accepted. So I advise teams not to joke.”

“What? Pizza is definitely Christmas food,” Cash says when we all glare at him. “We have it every year at the Most Horrible Holiday Movie Marathon!”

He’s not wrong about that, at least.

“Okay, next category!” DeSantos shouts. “Christmas music! What is the most popular Christmas song of all time?”

One of the Vixens slaps their buzzer and Krista looks over at us like she’s sure they have this one in the bag. But when Veronica says, “ ‘All I Want for Christmas Is You,’ ” I know she’s made a critical error.

As DeSantos confirms this, I slap our buzzer a liiiiittle aggressively, and Izaac flinches like I’m about to hit him. “What is ‘Silent Night’?” I shout.

“Correct! Another point to the Royal Tannenbaums,” DeSantos says. “But for the record, there is no need to answer in the form of a question.”

I slink back in my seat a little as a blush warms my cheeks, but Eve is smiling, so it’s worth it.

We’re off to a head start, but the other teams start getting their footing. Some questions are simple enough for even holiday culture noobs. (“What is it called when people sing in the streets?” “Caroling!” says sexy Mrs. Claus). Others require more of an understanding of pop culture, and the Vixens do pretty well on that front. (“Which of Santa’s reindeer shares a name with another holiday mascot?” “Cupid!” Krista shouts.)

At the end of round one, the Prancers and Dancers are the first to get eliminated, even after polling the audience, but they don’t seem fazed in the least. In fact, I see what Eve meant when she said they may have just entered the contest to get onstage, because they quickly transition to becoming impromptu entertainment, doing fully choreographed dances and pulling herkies between questions, which gets them way more applause than their trivia responses.

As the second round winds down, I look over at Carlos in back. Hugo is standing behind him on a barstool so he can see the stage. He watches intently, focused on his big sister.

The final question is announced and I turn back to the stage.

“If the Rebels get the next one wrong, they’re out,” Diya says, and thank god someone is keeping track, because my brain is more chaotic than a pinball machine from all the activity.

The Rudolph Rebels are naturally quick to buzz in when they hear, “How many reindeer are featured in the original poem, ‘ ’Twas the Night Before Christmas’?”

“Nine!” one of them hollers.

“Actually, dear Rudolph Rebels, your namesake hadn’t yet joined the crew,” DeSantos tells them regretfully.

The Vixens pick up with the correct answer—eight—and both our table and the Vixens erupt in cheers simultaneously, because with that, the Rebels are no more, and we advance to the finals.

We learn that in this last round we will be going head-to-head with the Vixens and best two-out-of-three wins. Even though the prize is a fruitcake crown, it feels a whole lot higher stakes given the fact that we’re going up against Eve’s ex-girlfriend. I try to put that out of my mind, because even without that information, I’d still want to wipe the lipsticked grins off their faces.

“The next team to get two out of three questions correct will officially be our winners, folks!” DeSantos says. Genderfluid Frosty’s arms are thrown up in a V, and the bar explodes in cheers.

Then we get down to business.

“Where did the tradition of the Christmas tree originate?”

“Germany!” Audra shouts, practically jumping out of her seat.

“Nice work!” Izaac says, and high-fives his sister.

“I mean, I did study international relations for a semester,” she says, and blows on her nails.

“What three words are used to describe a grouchy green creature in the 1960s classic cartoon?”

“Stink, stank, stunk!” Krista shouts to DeSantos, who responds, “Superb!”

“Told you… pure Grinch energy,” Eve mutters to me, and I can’t help smiling, even though it means we’re tied with the Vixens.