Page 56 of Winter Magic at Hollybrae Castle

‘Try two at once, Luce!’ Gisela adds with a semi-hysterical laugh that suggests she’s reliving her worst nightmare.

Luce. I like how they keep shortening my fake name like I’m an old friend they’ve known for years, and I suppose they have, in a way. I’m finally a face to a name they’ve only previously associated with a long list of medical conditions. They certainly know more about my kidney stones than I do, and my pelvic floor, apparently.

‘Seriously, how do you keep the love alive with him working as much as he does? Tell us your secrets!’

‘Don’t tell us it’s just because you’re young and Oliver’s got the energy to work and engage in extracurricular activities!’

I know why she’s asking. Ollie leaves before 8 a.m. every morning, does overtime after the office is closed, and doesn’t get home until 7 p.m. or later, and those are the days when he doesn’t have to commute much, much further. The past couple of weeks, the evenings and weekends have been great, but before that, he spent most of those working from home as well. If I was working normally too, it’s easy to see how we’d become the proverbial ships that pass in the night…

‘We, er…’ I get my cake out of the oven and roll it up while it’s still warm, which buys me time while I struggle for an answer. They think I know some great secret to making a marriage work because I’m being paid to pretend to be a happy wife, and it makes me feel the worst kind of dishonest. Until now, I’ve been avoiding the prickles of guilt at deceiving people in this way, feeling like it’s something far away and disconnected from me, but these ladies have accepted me fully into their inner circle, and I don’t deserve to be there. ‘We’re not,’ I finish eventually. ‘We’re in the same boat as you, really. We’re just making the most of having time together over Christmas. It’ll be back to the grind in January!’

I hate saying it, but I don’t know what else to say. And it’s not entirely untrue, is it? We are making the most of Christmas, and when January comes… No matter what, I won’t be Ollie’s wife any more.

‘January,’ Orla mutters. ‘Today, more like. You know they’ve only gone to play golf for a chance to talk about work, don’t you? Bloody work, and on Christmas bollocking Eve too. It’s too much to ask for them to even pretend they want to spend time with their families. And don’t think we didn’t appreciate the embargo on work talk, Luce. It was a valiant effort.’

‘I’d rather hang out with you girls, anyway. Can’t stand my husband half the time,’ Michelle says.

‘Can’t bear him the other half,’ Orla adds with a cackle.

‘All Clint cares about is work. He’s been trying so hard to get this promotion, but none of us want him to. He expects us to move to bloody London for it, even though the kids don’t want to go. Between us girls, I think it might be the final straw. If he gets it, I’m going to call the…’ Gisela’s whispered voice drops even quieter. ‘D-i-v-o-r-c-e lawyer.’

The others gasp in horror, and Mira and I glance at each other. This is a conversation that’s not meant for us.

‘But what about the money he’ll earn?’

‘There comes a point where no amount of money is worth it. I don’t want my kids to grow up trying to remember what their father looks like because he’s always at work.’

‘I only tolerate Halston for the money. I can use his bank account to shop so much that I forget the loneliness. I might be miserable but at least I look good on it.’

‘I’m having an affair.’

All four of us turn to look at Orla with an audible gasp.

‘What if he finds out?’ Mira asks, losing her focus on melting butter and chocolate together for the icing.

‘I’ve had…’ She counts on her fingers. ‘…seven so far and he never has, this one won’t make any difference either. He’s not attentive enough to notice.’

‘What about you, Luce?’ Gisela asks before I have time to dwell on it. ‘Will you be happy if Oliver gets the promotion?’

I don’t have a chance to answer before Orla leans across the counter. ‘Between us girls, Oliver’s a shoo-in. The London job is his. The only doubts my husband and Halston had were about, well… you. They didn’t entirely believe in you, Lucy. But coming here, meeting you and the kids… it’s a done deal. And you won’t have to worry about divorce lawyers, Gisela.’

‘That’s a shame, I was quite looking forward to it,’ Gisela mutters in what I’m not entirely sure is a joking manner.

They carry on chatting about anything and everything while Mira and I realise we still need to cover our Yule logs with icing, and I can tell we both feel like we’ve eavesdropped on a conversation we shouldn’t have heard.

I never answered the question about how I’ll feel if Ollie gets the promotion. I should be ecstatic, especially now I know he will get it. He deserves to get absolutely everything he wants out of life, but I don’t think it is what he wants, and I don’t know if he’s ever going to be bold enough to admit that to himself.

* * *

Nancy’s shooing us out of the kitchen so she can start dinner when the boys get home from their round of golf and the wives all greet them with air kisses like they haven’t just spent the morning talking about divorce lawyers and affairs. I’m looking around for Ollie as the others disappear into the castle when a hand reaches out from the cloakroom door and pulls me inside.

‘How’s it going?’ he whispers, pulling me into a corner so we won’t be overheard.

‘Great. I’ve reached the inner circle of discussion about pelvic floors and our sex life. I’m guessing those ladies spend a lot of time together while you men are off talking shop on these company retreats?’

He nods, his hands are both holding my forearms now, his fingers rubbing up and down against my skin.

‘How’d you get on at golf?’