Page 30 of Monster. Me.

Unfortunately, I'm not careful enough.

Rupert suddenly turns his head, and our eyes meet.

I raise an eyebrow, making no effort to hide that I find the whole thing pretty weird.

Then I shrug and back away.

A few moments later I'm back in the main room, where Timmy is still singing some over-the-top love song while Juan is clearly occupied with dicking the staff.

Several more minutes pass before Rupert finally returns.

First he ducks into the small restroom near the club entrance, then eventually makes his way back to our table.

He looks extremely pleased with himself.

I can't resist.

"Apparently Caspian's, umm… taken."

I say it on purpose. Over the last few days I've definitely noticed Rupert growing closer to Caspian.

His response catches me completely off guard.

"That's fine," he says. "Good for them. Sounds like they're having fun."

For a second I don't even understand what he means. I almost ask for clarification, but stop myself.

Digging into it any deeper would be pointless, but the fact that Rupert has no moral issue with Juan cheating on Timmy doesn't escape my notice. My suspicion that Rupert and I might not be on the same page when it comes to our sexual preferences is only increasing.

About ten minutes later, Juan and Caspian return separately, entering from opposite sides of the club as if nothing happened. Timmy soon joins them after finishing his performance to loud applause.

The next person up is Pedro, but he fails to attract much attention, and conversations quickly take over the room again.

Then comes another surprise.

Without saying a word to me, Rupert suddenly gets up and moves over to their table.

And just like that, I'm left sitting alone at ours.

Wonderful.

Before long, Rupert is deep in a loud, animated conversation with Juan and Caspian about some celebrity drama. I can hear every word they're saying, but all I feel is irritation.

Seriously, the whole thing leaves a bad taste in my mouth. The sneaking-out thing, the strange dynamics at their table, their intense personalities, even their sense of humor… all of it feels just meh to me.

These people don't seem to be taking the program or its goals seriously enough. Or maybe they just don't believe it'll actually work? I know from Timmy that Juan wants to open a large tailoring business someday. Possibly he's here to save money, similarly to Rupert, and doesn't actually care about Timmy or starting a family.

Rupert gets more and more involved in the conversation, grinning broadly the entire time. At this point I can't even tell whether he's more interested in Juan or Caspian. Is he flirting with both of them?

What the hell. I've seen enough.

Finally, I get up and leave.

As I walk away, I remember what Dr. Lee told me about being more selective when it comes to potential partners.

I still remember how surprised, even shocked, he looked when I told him I hadn't been really interested in reviewing the candidate profiles. Back then I'd found it almost funny. I'd believed in the program. So much! Believed I had a real chance of changing my hormones and finally building the life I wanted.

But damn.