Page 93 of Monster. Me.

"Wait, there’s something I wanted to tell you since yesterday."

"What is it?" I growl.

I only speak to Rupert like this, through a growl, but something in his face, some pleading, some urgent request for me to listen, makes me stop.

"Marlow, your scent has changed. I could sense it subtly yesterday evening. And today I’m certain, I smell vanilla. I think you’re pregnant."

I let out an angry snort.

"That’s impossible. Fenn had a vasectomy. He can’t have children."

A silence falls. A deep, terrifying silence as certain facts start connecting in my head.

I blink and the blood literally drains from my face.

I almost stagger; my folded clothes slip from my hands and fall to the ground.

Because there’s still one fucking way I could have gotten pregnant… Fenn did what he did with the others and simply opened the pathway, activated my gonads, and I…

I raise my hands to my face, feeling tears start to run down my cheeks, press my fingers to my temples, and force out a broken voice.

"You son of a bitch! You came all over me, on my hole… something must have gotten in there, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck…!"

I feel everything spinning in front of my eyes. I start collapsing to the ground, and I only feel Rupert’s arms around me, keeping me from hitting the hard floor.

I fade into darkness.

◆◆◆

I open my eyes at the sound of a sudden sneeze that erupts right beside me.

I’m in a laboratory, but a different one, not the one where Fenn is. I’m lying on a treatment bed, and above me, Dr. Lee’s face is leaning in.

"Relax, Marlow. It’s all right now…"

"Did that bastard get me pregnant?!" I blurt out, because that thought comes back immediately, not giving me even a second of relief after losing consciousness. My blood pressure spikes instantly.

"We’ll find out right now. I’ll take your blood, and we’ll do an ultrasound, although it’s still very early at this stage. We might be able to see a gestational sac…"

"A gesta—" I can’t finish it. I just can’t. I can’t believe this.

Why does Fate hate me like this?

Why did Fate make Blue Lowen save me three months ago after my suicide attempt? Just so it could mock me now? So it could do the worst possible fucking thing to me:

…get me pregnant by my rapist…

Dr. Lee doesn’t say anything. He clearly isn’t someone suited to being a psychologist or therapist.

Instead, with methodical precision, he draws blood from my trembling arm. It’s a miracle he even manages to hit the vein. Then he puts the sample into the analyzer machine and takes out the ultrasound probe.

"At this very early stage, a rectal ultrasound will be better."

I don’t protest. I pull down my pants, and he inserts the lubricated probe into me.

I stare at the ceiling in a strange numbness and shock…

Silence fills the room. I only feel the cold probe inside my body and the minimal movements Dr. Lee makes.