Page 32 of The Secret to Belonging

to please take their seats

you cry all the way to Minneapolis

in Minneapolis, you change planes

new students join you, including Kristen

from Bemidji who has no apparent hesitation

about leaving home for thirteen months

three rows ahead, Maura kneels on her seat

rests her elbows on the headrest

she smiles at you over the bald head

of a businessman reading a newspaper

she gives you a thumbs-up

more students come on board

Kristen greets each one like she’s Julie,

the cruise director from The Love Boat

now you’re going to have that stupid

theme song stuck in your head

but you have to admit

it’s starting to feel a little

like a party

at JFK, there are three hours to kill

Kristen organizes everyone in the airport café

you sprawl over five tables and two booths

so many teens fleeing the country

you wonder if they are being pushed or pulled

you are being shoved. you feel your brother’s boot print in the center of your back, though the intensity lessens the farther you get from Glendale

what if he dies while you’re overseas?

what if he doesn’t?

you have no hope for his recovery

the thought feels like a betrayal

but it’s true