Page 108 of The Familiar

“No one I can rely on to help us escape. You haven’t considered it? You know what my milagritos can do.”

“Of course I have, but there’s no point.”

“You’re so ready to die for your God?”

Teoda hesitated, then whispered. “I asked my angel. He says I will die here. We all will.”

“I thought your angel was silent on your own future.”

“Always. But he cannot see what lies beyond Toledo. For any of us. It’s easy enough to understand. Our story ends here, Luzia. I dreamed you on a pyre.”

“Then I’ll die on a pyre, but I will not be tortured again.”

“They wouldn’t take your confession?”

“I don’t know what they want to hear. I said everything I could think of, but it won’t be enough.”

Teoda tugged at the dirty lace of her sleeve. “It’s my fault we’re here. I was indiscreet.”

“I blame the king. I blame Pérez. I blame those bleating toads who tied me down. I don’t blame you.”

“You don’t understand. I … Donadei was so beautiful, so charming. I was easy prey. He told me he was in torment, that he couldn’t bear to serve a corrupt church.”

Luzia studied Teoda in the candlelight. “Prey,” she repeated. “Teoda, you don’t mean … You are a child—”

Teoda laughed softly. “Have you not guessed the truth, Luzia?”

“I fear I’m failing this test you’ve set for me.”

“I’m not a child. I’m thirty-eight years old. Thirty-eight years in this child’s body.”

Luzia knew how stupid she must look, staring at Teoda, remembering every wise and witty thing she’d said. How arrogant Luzia had been, priding herself on her ability to observe and understand her betters. She shook her head, unable to accept the truth right before her.

“I’m a fool,” she marveled. “I convinced myself your visions had made you old beyond your years.”

“Everyone does,” Teoda said. “It’s the voice too.”

Luzia nearly jumped. Teoda’s high, sweet soprano was gone. Her voice was still youthful, but the effect was startling; her presence reshaped in the space of a few words, a woman in miniature instead of a child.

“Donadei knew?”

“He guessed. Perhaps he sensed that my interest in him wasn’t that of a child. Maybe he saw how desperate I was for the kind of attention I’ve never had. He pretended we shared the same secrets, complained of Doña Beatriz.” She hesitated. “I have never been kissed that way before, as a man kisses a woman. I am the fool. And now my brother and I will die because of it.”

“Not your father,” Luzia said, understanding coming slowly.

“No. He has been protecting me since our parents died. I was given the birth date of a child who died in our parish and we traveled from place to place to hide my true age.” She glanced at Neva, who snored on. “I can tell you all of this because there’s no more need for secrecy. Because I doomed us both with my stupidity.”

Luzia thought of the compliments Donadei had paid her, of the way he’d spoken of Doña Beatriz and his desire to be free. If she hadn’t already been besotted with Santángel and his mystery would she have let the Prince of Olives seduce her? Would she have given up all her secrets? A life lived hungry could lead you to eat from anyone’s hand. She would have fed greedily and never recognized the taste of poison.

“If you were a fool then we all were,” Luzia said. “No doubt Donadei said whatever he could about both of us that would ensure his own freedom. But I will not lie down to die for him. For any of them. Your family has resources, friends in countries beyond Spain. I have milagritos. What is there to lose?”

“It won’t work.”

“Our choices are death or torture and death, Teoda. I’d rather die skewered by a guard than burned alive.”

“Or strangled. If you repent they’ll just strangle you.”

“In that case, let’s definitely stay here.”