Page 176 of Dead Beat

When they both had coffee in hand, Alex said, “You were gone by the time I came down from the tower.”

“Turner told us to go. After we scared away Nell and all those awful people, our weapons started to vanish. He said he wasn’t sure what might be coming next. So we went to Camila’s apartment and made pancakes and just … waited.”

Alex could tell Mercy had been frightened, but she heard the pride in her voice too. They had helped to beat back the tide. “And then nothing happened.”

“Nothing happened,” Mercy echoed with some wonder. “What could have happened?”

“A lot more Reiters. Maybe worse. But it’s over now.”

“Until the next terrible thing.”

Alex didn’t mean to laugh, but she couldn’t help it. “Pretty much.”

“I saw what Dawes did to Reiter. It was nightmarish but … gratifying?”

Alex couldn’t have agreed more. “I think that’s what the academics call catharsis.”

“I will not be writing a paper about it.”

“Understandable.” She hesitated. “Thank you for showing up.”

“I didn’t plan on it.”

“What changed?” Alex wasn’t sure if she would get an answer, and maybe it didn’t matter. Mercy had arrived when they had needed her most. The why was incidental.

“I prayed on it.” She fiddled with her glasses chain. “When you told me to get anyone I cared about away from Harkness, I had to sit down and really think about who was on my list. And then I told my pastor. I wanted him to be safe too. I told him everything. I could tell he thought I was crazy. He said, ‘How do you know all of this?’ And when I told him I had someone looking out for me, he said, ‘You always have someone looking out for you.’” She glanced up at Alex. “He meant God,” she explained.

“I got that.”

“I started thinking maybe you’re the way God was taking care of me. That the monsters were already here in New Haven, and without you, maybe they would have eaten their fill.”

Alex didn’t know if she believed it, but it was a kind thing to say.

“You could have run away,” Mercy said. “But you stayed. And I want to be the kind of person who stays.”

“You rescue me. I rescue you.”

“That’s right. But I still think if you don’t stop messing with magic, you’re probably going to hell.”

Alex waved a hand through the air. “Been there. Done that.”

“You can’t stop, can you? Because there are always more monsters.”

The truth was Alex didn’t know if she would stop, even if she could. She had spent her whole life searching for scraps of peace, for something that looked like normal. She wasn’t sure she was made for it.

“I’m not going to finish the semester,” she said.

“You’re giving up?”

That was rough to hear out loud. “I’m … adjusting my expectations. I don’t know if I’m done, but I need to figure out how I fit into the world, and I don’t think Yale can help with that anymore.”

“You do look better. Like you’ve been sleeping.”

“I’m resting easier,” Alex said. And sipping on the pent-up resentment of an entire city didn’t hurt.

“But what happens to the societies?” Mercy asked. “Do they just get to keep doing what they want and we hope someone gets in their way?”

Hope had its purpose, but Alex preferred a plan. It was why she’d spent most of the day debating logistics with Dawes. It was a big part of why she was sitting across from Mercy right now.