Page 39 of Save Me

“What?” Micah is out of his seat and rushing toward me, but then he stops. “Are you hurt?”

“No.” The concern in his voice makes my throat even tighter, and I hate it. Why am I being such a baby?

“Is…what happened?”

“I don’t know.” I dig into the anger. This isn’t going to work, so he needs to stop trying.

“Mustard nuggets,” Micah breathes, dropping back into his chair. And that piques my annoyance. Why does he talk like…that all the time? Is he trying to infantilize himself so people will view him as less of a threat? Trying to get me to let my guard down so he can slip right by?

“So what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know.” This time my answer has a bite to it because I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do.

“You can stay here.” Micah’s response is immediate.

It feels like my shoulders are shriveling in on my chest. I can’t stay here. I can’t keep up this mask for long. I can’t look like I need help. I’m self-sufficient. I always will be.

I stand, and Micah stands with me.

“Wait, I didn’t mean to overstep anything. Just, if you need somewhere to stay”

My heart is pounding in my ears. It feels like someone’s beating on the door to my head, trying to get me while I’m down. Micah is trying to take advantage of my weakness. He thinks he can win.

“Maddox!”

I come back to the present, and Micah is standing between me and the door, hands up with a pleading look in his eyes. And then suddenly, he isn’t Micah anymore; he grows older with less hair and a mean look in his eyes. Suddenly, he’s Arthur, blocking me from leaving the bathroom, and just like before, I’m trapped with a weight pressed on my chest.

“Get the fuck away from me!” I snap.

He doesn’t move.

My heart races. Do I back down? What if he hits me?

Fuck it, go ahead and try to beat the shit out of me for being weak. I don’t care anymore. What do I have to lose?

I take a step forward, putting my hands on the shoulders of the man blocking my escape, and yank him to the side.

Instead of launching at me, he just takes a step back. And then I blink, and instead of Arthur, it’s Micah, eyes shifting quickly, hands still up and shaking a little.

“I’m sorry.” He steps aside. “I’m sorry.”

In that moment, I see my own fear reflected back at me. A mixture of anger floods through me.

Do something, asshole. Fucking do something!

Only, Micah doesn’t.

What do I do? Run?

I take one step backward, then trip over Princess. I go down hard, trying not to land on him and landing on my elbow instead.

“Are you okay?” Micah is right there, reaching out a hand, then stops himself, retracting it.

Still, I flinch.

“Fuck!” All the fear and anger hit me all at once, and I feel the tears that I can’t stop boiling over. I get to my feet, turning away from Micah and curling my fingers into a fist, letting the overwhelming pressure out so silently that it hurts.

“Who did this to you?”