Page 199 of Harbinger

Maybe not before my Kindling. I swallow the thought.

Surprise takes its place. Clearly, someone is cooking. I hadn’t expected Broderic to land someone so … domestic.

“And who is her uncle?” I ask Isidore, my fingers trailing along the grooves in the kitchen door where we used to mark our heights.

She hesitates, but she knows what I’m really asking. “Patron Velesont.”

I can’t help thinking of Patron Velesont’s cruel interest the night the king died. How he lobbied to have me executed. And Broderic was in the room when he called for my execution. Now he’s marrying into his family?

“Is she …” But I trail away as Andry returns.

He’s holding a wooden sword. It looks remarkably like the ones issued to new conscripts for training. “Laurel brought it for me. She’s always bringing new things home.” He waves it erratically, nearly knocking over a vase of daisies on the nearest table. “It’s just like the ones Order Marius uses.”

He’s young enough to still dream of being a hero. I hold out my hand. “Let me see.”

He passes it to me. “There are lots of soldiers in Damalis now. Laurel says I can join up if I want.”

I’m already sure I won’t like her.

“Did she?” I say, forcing a smile. “I have something for you, too. From Kieren.”

I reach into the satchel I brought from Vennaro. There are only two pieces of him left.

They belong here with them.

I fish the letter out and offer it to my sister. “It was addressed to you. He must have forgotten to send it.”

Isidore takes the folded paper carefully, as if she’s afraid it might dissolve in her hands. “There’s no envelope.” She looks up, searching my face. “You opened it?”

I hesitate. She doesn’t need to know why I threw the envelope away. Neither of them do. “I didn’t read it.”

She stares at the letter but doesn’t open it.

Turning, I press the pegasus token into Andry’s palm.

“He never went anywhere without it,” I whisper.

Andry’s fingers close around it like it’s something alive.

Something precious.

But it’s another thread cut loose so Kieren’s soul can move on.

“I’m going to put it in my room.” He scrambles down the hall.

Isidore is still staring at the letter. “I think I’ll put this away, too,” she says softly. “I’ll be right out.”

I trail behind them until I reach my own bedroom’s door. Pushing it open, I find the bones of my childhood wearing different skin. The flowered paper my mother hung is gone, the walls now painted deep crimson. The small daybed I slept in until I left for my Kindling has been replaced by a large canopy bed with thick curtains. There’s not a trace of my old life, but I step inside anyway, trying to ignore the slight throb in my chest.

I left this place behind. It was my choice.

That doesn’t make it any easier. Not when this room held all my dreams. My mother tucked me into bed in this room. I cried myself to sleep in it when my first love broke my heart. I stared at the moon out that window.

I wrap my arms around my waist, trying to hold the memories in. It’s not about the wallpaper or my things being gone. It’s about the hole their loss carved in my chest. The one that makes me feel like a little girl standing in the middle of a life that doesn’t exist anymore, looking for the bed where her mother used to sit with her. But there’s no bed. No mother. There’s not really even me here anymore. It’s just … gone.

“What are you doing in here?” a harsh voice interrupts.

I spin around and find a woman standing there. Her brown curls are piled like a crown on top of her head, diamond earrings dangling from her ears. The silk overcoat she’s wearing probably costs as much as every stitch of clothing I’ve ever owned. But it’s the sneer she’s wearing that tells me she’s a Velesont. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know the room was being used.”