Page 36 of Keeping Kara

Kara watched, dumbfounded, as he started unpacking all the bags. Apparently, “necessities” included not only toiletries, but more clothes than Kara thought Chaos had in his drawers and closet at the moment. Socks, shirts, pants, flip-flops…even several different sizes of tennis shoes, with a note saying they could return anything that didn’t fit or that she didn’t like. And along with a toothbrush, toothpaste, and brush, they’d also purchased makeup, lotion, shampoo and conditioner, ChapStick, tampons, pads, and razors.

She picked up the stuffed bear Bowie had included, and the little girl was right. It was extremely soft, and even though it was “flat,” it was one of the best teddy bears she’d ever had.

It was extremely thoughtful of everyone…and Kara felt herself swallowing hard to keep from bursting into tears.

Arrow, as always, seemed to be able to read her mood. He squeezed her arm softly, then said, “I’ll leave you to it. You’re safe here, Kara. Take all the time you need. I’ll go order the pizza. It’ll be at least forty-five minutes or so before it arrives.”

With that, he left the room and shut the door firmly behind him.

The tears started before he’d even left, and continued as Kara tried to figure out which of her new clothing items to put on after her shower. Then she paused.

Making a decision she might regret later, but right now felt right, she walked over to Arrow’s dresser. She opened a few drawers, until she found a pair of boxers, another T-shirt, and a clean pair of sweatpants. She headed back to the bathroom with her bounty in her arms, shut and locked the bathroom door, and turned on the shower.

She stripped, refusing to look in the mirror again, knowing it would just make her cry harder. She moved the shampoo and conditioner and scented liquid soap into the stall, then closed herself inside. The second the hot water hit her, the tears started in earnest.

Kara slid to the tiled floor, with the water cascading over her head and shoulders, and sobbed.

CHAPTER NINE

Chaos paced his bedroom in agitation. He’d opened the door once to check on Kara and heard her crying in the bathroom. It affected him deeply. Because there wasn’t any-damn-thing he could do to help her.

Once, when he was around sixteen, he’d caught his mom crying, and had expressed his concern and asked what he could do to make her stop. She’d told him that sometimes girls just needed to cry. That it was their way of letting their emotions out. That it was okay to let them.

Chaos hadn’t been happy, and he’d hovered until his mom finished, then she’d opened her arms and he’d hugged her hard.

“This is what you can do when a woman is crying,” she’d told him. “Tell her it’s okay, and if it’s appropriate and she’s open to it, hugging her afterward.”

His hands itched to hold Kara. To tell her that everything was going to be all right. That she was safe. He’d held her while she cried after they’d gotten out of the floodwater, but his need to make sure she was all right hadn’t abated. In fact, it had only grown more intense.

Not able to listen to her sobs any longer, Chaos went back into the living area. It went against everything that made him who he was to not try to “fix” what was making Kara cry. But he couldn’t fix this. And he certainly couldn’t interrupt her shower. All he could do was continue pacing in another room.

No, that wasn’t true. He could call Casper and brainstorm ways to keep Kara safe. But Casper was probably making love to his woman right about now. They had a lot to celebrate. Twin girls would keep them all on their toes, because there was no question that the entire team would want to be involved in raising those babies.

He could call Edge, but the man had been fairly high-strung lately, probably because of his ex’s recent appearance on base. What should be a safe space for the man. It was insane that the woman seemed so hell-bent on making his life miserable, even years after their divorce.

Chaos couldn’t hear Kara’s sobs out in the living area, but that almost made things worse. Was she calming down? Still upset? He was at a loss as to what to do, and that frustrated the hell out of him. He’d never felt like this.

It could’ve been ten minutes or thirty, but after a while, he heard her puttering around in his bedroom. It took everything within him not to wrench open the door and demand to know if she was all right.

Instead he was standing stock still, staring at his bedroom door, when it finally opened.

Kara’s face was flushed, her eyes a little red, but she was clean…and wearing another one of his T-shirts. She also had on a pair of his sweatpants.

He loved seeing her in his clothes.

She stopped in the doorway, looking uneasy. She gestured to the shirt. “I hope you don’t mind,” she said softly.

“Not at all. I just want you to be comfortable. Are you okay?” Chaos wanted to kick himself for that question. Of course she wasn’t okay.

“I’m better. Being clean helps a lot.”

This woman had every right to be completely withdrawn and negative about her situation, instead she was gracious and doing her best to be positive.

Chaos stepped toward her, as if drawn by an unseen force. He could no sooner stay away from her than a fish could thrive on land. When he was close, he lifted a hand—then halted it midair before he could actually touch her.

What was he doing? He didn’t have the right to touch this woman whenever he wanted. She likely wouldn’t want that anyway, after everything she’d been through. And he was essentially a stranger.

To his surprise, Kara gave him another smile and reached up to take his hand in hers. She brought it to her face, cupping it to her cheek, which was exactly what he’d planned to do before common sense kicked in.