Page 45 of Keeping Kara

“Okay. Keep going.”

“My bra strap digging into my shoulder. Hair against my face. Fingernails in my palm.”

“Now, give me five things you can hear.”

“Thunder. Wind. Your voice. You breathing. Me breathing.” Words were coming easier and faster. Kara could feel herself beginning to relax.

“Five things you can see.”

“Um, it’s dark. I can’t see anything.”

“Okay, five things you can smell.”

Kara took a deep breath in through her nose. “Rain. Whatever was used to clean the hardwood floor under me…um…that’s about it.”

“Do you feel better?” Arrow asked.

“A little.”

“Good. Are you okay? Where are you?”

“In the guest room at Jen’s. Under my bed. I don’t know what happened. I was fine and then…I wasn’t. And it’s raining.” The last three words came out a little whiny, and Kara hated that. This wasn’t her. She wasn’t like this.

“Flashback. It happens,” Arrow said matter-of-factly. “And I’m not surprised. I’m just sorry I didn’t anticipate it. God, I’m so sorry, Kara.”

Why was he apologizing? If anything, she should be saying sorry to him.

“It’s happened to me a few times. It’s scary. Comes seemingly out of nowhere. One moment you’re minding your own business, and the next it feels as if you’re having a heart attack and you can’t breathe and all you can think is that the world is ending.”

“Yes,” Kara whispered, amazed that he seemed to know exactly how she was feeling.

“Tomorrow, we’ll get you in to talk to someone.”

Kara shook her head, but of course Arrow didn’t see her.

“I should’ve already arranged it, I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t, I can’t…”

“There’s no shame in talking about what happened to you. The shame is all on him, not you, Kara.”

“I know, I just…I don’t do well around strangers.”

“You have to talk to someone, sweetheart.”

Kara closed her eyes upon hearing the term of endearment. It did something to her, deep inside. Settled her. “I can talk to you. Unless you don’t want me to,” she blurted.

“I don’t have the training to be able to say the right things to help you.”

“I feel a hundred percent better than I did five minutes ago when I called you. I can breathe and I’m talking. I’d say you have exactly the right words.”

He was silent on the other end of the line, and Kara began to doubt herself. “I’m being too needy, aren’t I? I⁠—”

“No! You aren’t too needy, Kara. I just don’t want to do anything that might hurt you in the long run.”

“You won’t.” She said the two words with confidence. How she knew that, Kara had no idea. But the man on the other end of the phone felt like a lifeline. It was why she’d called him when she was on the edge of losing it. “Are you close?”

“Getting there. I’m going to need you to buzz me in. Do you think you can do that? Get out from under the bed and to the intercom?”