Page 49 of The Pilot

Harper took a deep breath. She hated to admit how dumb she’d been, especially to this man, but she’d come this far. She had to keep going.

“But there was a caveat. Before he agreed to sign me, he needed to get the approval of three of his fellow agents. Said that’s how they worked. That there needed to be a consensus that any model they hired was right for the agency. He explained there was this big shindig his company was throwing, the perfect place to introduce me to coworkers and get the approval we needed. He also said there’d be film producers and representatives from Hollywood there, a potential springboard to get a jump start on my new career, once I was approved by his colleagues.

“I splurged and bought a skintight black dress and four-inch heels. The material clung to my curves, and I felt so damn good about myself. I remember thinking how lucky I was when I entered the nightclub where the party was taking place. How that night was going to be the beginning of a whole new life. One where I was the talk of the town, with everyone wanting me to star in their projects. How I’d get calls from all the big designers, wanting me to wear their clothes . . .

“It was the start of a new life, all right. Just not the one I’d envisioned.

“The party was weird from the start. There were only a handful of women there. It was mostly men. Older men. Everyone was drinking, and I didn’t really like the look of lust on the men’s faces. But honestly, I’d gotten pretty used to that. You can’t be a woman in the fashion industry and not learn to recognize when someone thinks you’re hot.

“And I felt safe enough, because my new agent hung on to me all night, walking me around and introducing me to people. I was flattered, and I did what I could to impress everyone so they’d agree I’d be perfect for their agency. I was happy to smile at those strangers, drink the drinks that were pushed into my hand, and bask in the glow that came with being the center of attention.”

She felt Linc stiffen next to her but forced herself to continue. To finish what she’d started.

“I don’t remember the rest of the night. My next memory is waking up the next morning in an alley. A fucking alley. My dress was on inside out, I had no underwear and no shoes. And I hurt. All over. Inside and out.

“I knew what happened—of course I did. How could I not? But I was in denial. I somehow made it home, and the looks of pity from my roommates were almost more than I could bear. I took a long hot shower, and I cried the entire time. When I finally dragged myself out, I immediately called my alleged agent. He’d blocked my number. And when I did an internet search to find out more about him, I realized he’d given me a fake name. He apparently didn’t exist in the industry. I didn’t even know if he had an actual office, because we’d always met in a park, or a diner, or a coffee shop.

“I’d fallen for his lies, hook, line, and sinker. I have no idea how he actually found my headshots. But he used me, and probably sold me and all those other women to the highest bidders that night. Hauling me around to meet everyone like he was parading a prize steer in front of potential buyers.

“I found out I was pregnant two months later. I’d immediately gotten an STD test done, but I hadn’t even thought about asking for emergency contraception. I was too freaked out about having a potential disease, too traumatized about what had happened to me, and too upset about being so stupid to believe that asshole’s lies about being an agent and wanting to sign me.

“I have no idea who Kash’s father is. Don’t want to know. Don’t ever want Kash to know. I thought about an abortion at the time, even made an appointment to do it, but in the end . . . I couldn’t. I wanted the baby. That baby inside me was innocent, regardless of how he was created. I wouldn’t let him suffer for my stupidity of not doing more research on the sleazeball who’d pretended to be an agent.

“Despite the circumstances of his conception, I wanted my baby. It was probably selfish of me, but for the first time in a long time, I was looking forward to my future. To being a mom.

“I had Kash alone in the hospital, no friends, no family, no one there to hold my hand, to tell me it would be all right. I was terrified about what was to come, but the second they put Kash in my arms, everything else seemed to fade away. He was definitely my kid. He had a head full of red hair from the moment he came out. And my green eyes. And my dad’s chin. I looked into his eyes and swore I’d always put him first. That I’d do whatever it took to be the best mom possible.

“Nothing else I’ve ever done compares to him. He’s my entire life. While I hate the circumstances that brought him into the world, I don’t regret making the decision to keep him. I’ve struggled almost every day to make sure he has food and shelter, but it’s never been difficult to give him love.

“When I finally realized I was hurting him by continuing to try to make a life in New York, I called Dad. Begged him to let us come home. I put aside my pride, something I should’ve done years ago, and crawled back to Rockville feeling like a failure.

“But because of you and your family, I finally feel as if I’m getting some of my dignity back. I can’t change the past, the decisions I made, the things I’ve said and done, but I’m trying to do my best to be a different person today. A better one.”

She paused, taking several deep breaths. “I just wanted you to know the whole sordid tale. Of where I’ve been, what I’ve done, and how Kash was conceived. Again, I don’t know who his father is, I didn’t even try to find out. No good could ever come of it. And I never pressed charges because I didn’t even know the name of the man who sold me out, literally. I’m sure the men at that party all had fake names too. For years, I lived in fear I’d come face-to-face with one of them in the city, but I never did. At least, I don’t think I did.

“And . . . that’s my story. I wanted to be completely honest with you before . . . before we go any further down the road we’re traveling.”

Harper hadn’t looked up the entire time she was speaking. Simply stared at her hands. Hands that were being held in Linc’s large, strong, capable grip.

When he let go of her and stood, Harper looked up for the first time.

And almost stopped breathing at what she saw.

Linc. Looked. Pissed.

Absolutely furious.

He took a deep breath, then shut his eyes, cutting off the emotion Harper had seen there.

She stared at him, her hopes for what might’ve been crashing and burning in that moment. She’d always known there was a possibility Linc might be mad at her for what she’d done. For how stupid she’d been. Though she’d hoped that wouldn’t be the case.

But there was no mistaking the anger she’d seen on his face. It was as clear as day.

Despair shot through her body. Looking around the room, she felt ashamed as the silence dragged out. Humiliated. She’d completely opened herself up . . . and he’d not said a word. Was still standing there with his eyes shut, as if he wanted to be anywhere but in her presence.

She couldn’t stay in that room for another second. Not where she’d hoped to finally be able to experience all that was Lincoln Young for the first time.

She needed to go. To get out of there.