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Ethics? Morals? Selflessness? They hadn’t existed in his upbringing. The concept of love, of people choosing to be monogamous and treat sex as something special had been so foreign to him as a teen, the idea boggled his mind. All he’d witnessed were couples taking what they claimed was love and using it to tear each other to shreds.
He wanted no part of that kind of pain.
Even the few examples of solid relationships he’d seen recently weren’t exempt from pain and heartbreak. Look at Cassie. Though she and Viper did everything right, Cassie had been left behind broken hearted, her husband ripped from her.
Time to get out of there before he began to consider something insane. Something that would end with both of them broken and bleeding from the heart.
Mak would thank him for it if she knew what was good for her.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
“THANKS AGAIN, SHELL,” Mak said as she stood in the foyer of Copper and Shell’s beautiful, enormous home. “You too, Cassie. I can’t tell you how much this meant to me.”
As she spoke the words, her face heated. She couldn’t tell them why it meant so much to her because then she’d have to admit she had crazy, and mind-blowing sex with Thunder. And after that, she’d be forced to think about how she’d woken up alone, confused, and feeling like an utter fool.
“Honey, it was our pleasure,” Cassie said, as she balanced Emmie on her hip. “Seriously, I might just steal this little one if you’re not careful.”
Mak reached out to take her sister. “Let me have her. She’s heavy.” Cassie had recently completed a course of chemotherapy for cancer. While Shell told Mak the older woman was in full remission, she still had a way to go to regain her pre-treatment strength. Having also lost her husband within the past few months, she’d basically been through hell. Despite it all, she always had a smile and seemed to be in remarkable spirits. The entire club had jumped in to support Cassie. She’d recently moved in with Copper and Shell to help with childcare and be surrounded by her chosen family.
Witnessing all the love and support Cassie had never failed to astound Makenna. What would it be like to have a whole huge group of people willing to do anything to help at the drop of a hat? It’d be extraordinary. And humbling. Makenna couldn’t imagine it.
“Nonsense,” Cassie said, swatting Makenna’s outstretched arms away. “I’m not letting her go until I have to.”
With a big smile and a thumb in her mouth, Emmie rested her head on Cassie’s shoulder. The thumb-sucking habit needed to go, but with everything else on her plate, Mak had let it slide. If the poor little girl needed it to soothe herself for a little longer, it wouldn’t be the end of the world.
“Come on in. Sit a while. Have some coffee,” Shell said, waving Mak into the room. “You’ve been on your feet all morning.”
Exhaustion pulled at her even though she’d slept like the dead in Thunder’s arms. Today’s five-hour shift at the diner had been particularly grueling and hectic.
Ugh, why had he left? When had he left? Had she done something wrong?
She’d woken to discover a shopping bag full of melted ice cream on the floor by the front door. In his mad dash to rescue her from her vibrator, he must have dropped it.
The humiliation never ended.
More shameful was the fact he didn’t stop to pick the bags up on the way out. Did that mean he was in as much of a rush to escape as he’d been to get inside? Thank God, she’d been asleep and spared the disgrace of having to listen to excuses as he fled.
“Mak?” Shell tilted her head as she held the door open.
“Sorry. Zoned out there for a second.” She stepped into the cozy home with a smile.
“I don’t know how you do it,” Shell said. “I’m terrified of how I’ll manage two, and I have Copper and Cassie for backup. You’re Superwoman.” The words came across as completely sincere, yet a little sad.
She got it. It was sad, from others’ perspectives. There she was in her early twenties with no life beyond working and raising siblings. No time for dating, love, even a night of fun. Last night had been the first ever. She shrugged off the weight of despair that occasionally snuck in. No point in lamenting reality. “When you don’t have a choice, you just do what you have to. Trust me, I am far from Superwoman. I’m way too messy for that title.”
Shell stepped closer and opened her arms. “You look like you need this.”
As Shell’s arms closed around her, Mak shook her head. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to sound snarky or whiny.” She returned the embrace. How long had it been since someone had hugged her with the sole purpose of comforting her? God, it felt crazy good, and the urge to cling to Shell while she had a minor breakdown hit hard. If she’d known sharing a little of her struggles would make her feel so needy, she’d have kept her mouth shut.
