Page 30 of Blue Sky

Her face contorted. “What if Sky wakes?”

“I’ll grab the monitor. Come on.”

She covered herself with her hands. “Let me change.”

I didn’t want her to change. I wanted to look at her incredible body in the moonlight. “We’re just going to sit in my truck. It’s hot out.”

“Okay.”

I grabbed a blanket and the monitor, and we snuck out of the front door like two teenagers absconding into the night. It felt so illicit.

I threw down the blanket and we sat in the truck. I resisted the urge to wrap my arms around her, kiss her, tell her how much I needed her. But it wasn’t the right time. Not now.

I took her hand and traced the constellation with her. “Look up, Loma. Look at the stars. Do you see Orion?”

She nodded and then sucked in a breath. “Wow, it’s beautiful. Are you into astronomy?”

“Yeah, I wanted to be an astronaut. Still might go for it after I get out. My degree is in aeronautical engineering.”

“Oh, so you’re a genius.” She gave me a playful pinch and then leaned into my arms. Her skin was so soft, and she smelled like honey and bananas. I wondered if she tasted like them, too.

“No, I just liked to study.” But I didn’t want to talk about myself. I wanted to know everything about this strong, beautiful woman in my arms. “What about you? What do you like to do besides cook?”

“I don’t really know. I mean I liked to read in school, especially about other countries. But I haven’t really been exposed to much. I just want to travel, enjoy life.”

Despite the physical chemistry, we were such a match in other ways. I knew I made her feel safe and protected, and she made me feel loved. She wanted to travel, and I would be stationed around the world.

I could make her happy.

She placed her head on my chest. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“What happened to your wife?”

Anything but that. My heart sank. I didn’t want to think about my dead wife when I was looking up at the stars with Paloma.

But she was taking care of my daughter. And me. She had a right to know. Especially since I was dying to kiss her.

I took a deep breath. “Catherine was my high school sweetheart, but her parents moved to Virginia our senior year, so we dated long distance. I was accepted into Annapolis, and she went to Washington and Lee, near her folks, so we were still long distance in college. We got married when I graduated, and my first station was in Nevada. She got a job doing social work, which she loved.”

“Social work? She must’ve been a great person.”

“She was. She really cared about people. But I deployed so much, we barely saw each other. When I was selected as an Angel, we decided to try for a baby, because even though I’d be off flying for the year, at least I would be stateside. She got pregnant immediately.”

I looked up to the heavens. It was time to lay my heart on the line.

“But she had a brutal pregnancy. Nothing went right. She was sick, and we were worried about Sky’s development. I was flying all over the country, so I couldn’t be with Catherine.” I hadn’t even been there with her the last year of her life. I’d been too focused on being a great Angel.

A dullness ached in my chest. “She was overdue, so the doctor decided to induce her. But she wasn’t progressing fast, so she had to have a C-section. Sky was born healthy, and it was the best day of my life.”

And it had been. I was a dad. I was so proud of my beautiful wife. We had savored that day in the hospital. I couldn’t wait to go home and pamper my wife while she recovered.

I gritted my teeth. What happened next, I would never for the rest of my life come to terms with. Had it been my fault? Maybe if I had noticed the signs sooner, maybe she would still be here. “But then Catherine got sick. She had a strep infection from the surgery. The doctors tried to save her, but it was so aggressive. She died when Sky was two days old.”

The guilt came in waves, eating me up. But no matter how much I loved her, I couldn’t save her.

I had failed her.