Page 39 of Blue Moon

I finished getting ready, left the hotel, and walked down the street to meet Raine. I found the coffeehouse and immediately noticed her—somehow, she looked even more stunning than she had the last time I’d seen her. Her beauty was so natural and effortless, no stylist required. I was super envious. She wore a gray knit beanie on top of her cascading blonde locks, a thin lavender wrap sweater, and form-fitting black pants that showed off her slender frame. I wished I had her style, her confidence, and, more importantly, her passion.

She embraced me and kissed me on the cheek. “Hi, Sol. You look great. You’re practically glowing. This wouldn’t have anything to do with your secret, would it?”

I gave a coy smile. “Maybe. You look fabulous as always. I love your cap. Let’s get some coffee.”

I perused the menu and ordered the ominously named Dark Side Roast.

I took an Instagram video of the barista making the incredible latte art in the shape of Darth Vader. My fans would love this picture. After posting and hashtagging, I grabbed my drink and sat down next to Raine. I took a sip of the coffee; it tasted even better than it looked.

Raine was smiling at the hot barista, who was totally checking her out. She just dripped sex appeal. I gave her a nudge and said, “Earth to Raine! Don’t you want to hear what’s going on with me?”

She smirked at me knowingly. “Okay, tell me your secret.”

Nerves got the best of me. “In a bit. First, tell me what’s new with you? What ballet are you in?”

“Nope. Not telling you anything until you spill the tea—or the coffee, in your case. Are you dating someone? That hot pilot you posted on your Instagram? Please tell me you finally got laid.”

I could feel warmth flood my cheeks. My virginity was an open secret among my friends.

I shook my head. “No. We haven’t had sex, not yet anyway. But yes, I’m dating that pilot. His name is Sawyer, and I’m obsessed with him.” My heart raced when I thought of him. Captain Sawyer “Huck” Roberts. Even his name filled me with joy.

“I knew it! Woman, I saw the video of you flying in his plane. You’re insane but very brave. I would never ever go up in that jet no matter how hot the guy was. And he’s gorgeous.”

“Brave? What a joke—I was scared to death, but he was so patient with me. And he is hot, isn’t he? You should see his body.”

“Then why haven’t you slept with him? Have I not taught you anything? You’re not still dreaming of finding true fairy tale love, are you? That only happens in the ballet, and even in the best ones, one of the lovers end up dead. Just have some fun.”

I laughed. “I want to, and in fact, we were about to, but I ruined the moment by telling him I’m a virgin. He was super shocked. I think it totally threw him for a loop. So, we talked, and he decided that it would be best if we waited until we were more serious. I mean, we only met four days ago.”

Raine rolled her eyes. “Sol, you’re beautiful. He turned you down? Is he gay like Ben? You wasted two years on that guy with his ‘I want to wait for marriage’ bullshit. You totally fell for it. I told you he was gay, and you refused to believe me. I have the best gaydar—I’m a professional dancer, for fuck’s sake.”

Ah, Ben. He had been the best boyfriend, but I’d been so blind to his lack of attraction to me. In public, he’d be all over me, but in private he wouldn’t touch me with a ten-foot pole. I didn’t blame him—his parents were ultra-religious and literally tried to convert him when he finally came out to them. Even now they still hadn’t come around and had actually disowned him. Ben and I were still friends, and I’d care about him forever, but I had to admit, the years of feeling undesired had definitely taken their toll.

“No, Raine. Sawyer’s not gay. Like at all. If anything, he’s a player. After the plane ride, he asked me out to a gala, but we totally clashed. He was annoyed by me posting on Instagram, and he was rude and condescending.”

“What a jerk. Then why are you here with him?”

“Well, he apologized. He bought me flowers, and we started all over.”

“And?”

“And, I don’t know, we spent the whole weekend together. We had our first kiss on Mount Tam under the moonlight during the Blue Moon.”

“Oh, that sounds romantic.”

“It was. And he was so sweet. And once I saw him fly, I was hooked. I mean, everyone treats him like a god. And he was talking to these kids after the show, and he even held a baby. I was so turned on by the whole thing. So, I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to him.”

“But he turned you down.”

I pursed my lips, a little embarrassed. “Yeah, he did, but nicely. I don’t know, like when I told him, he was visibly moved. I can’t explain it. I saw a full shift in him. And then, he asked me to come to Seattle with him. And to be his girlfriend. We’ve fooled around, which was incredible. I couldn’t believe how amazing he made me feel. Well, he’s amazing. I’m thrilled, so I just hope it works out.”

She reached across the table and squeezed my hand. “I’m happy for you, Sol. I mean it. You deserve all the best things in life. But you shouldn’t place so much stock in your virginity. If you want to sleep with him, sleep with him. If you don’t want to sleep with him, don’t sleep with him. Sex is great when you’re comfortable with your body—I’ve learned that by being a dancer. But it doesn’t guarantee that a relationship will work. Just enjoy yourself and whatever happens, happens. If you’re meant to be together, it will work out. If not, you’ll at least have had your first time with a gorgeous man who’s probably an incredible lover.”

I exhaled. Raine’s words made so much sense. For years, losing my virginity had been such a big deal for me. But I was an adult, and I just wanted a normal, healthy relationship. Sex was a part of that. Raine had always had such a sex-positive outlook. Her mom was incredibly open and honest, and Raine had never been raised with any of the pressure that I’d had to save my virginity to give as a gift to my future husband. Raine would always fall for guys, have torrid love affairs with them, and then they would have no drama when they went their separate ways. Raine’s true passion was dancing. She was so focused on her career that she never lost herself in a relationship.

I turned the tables on her. “Okay, secret told. So, what about you? How’s the ballet? Do you like living in Seattle?”

“Things are great here, but I miss the sunshine, though my name is Raine so maybe I’m destined to live here. I just was promoted to soloist. I really wish you could see me dance while you’re in town, but we don’t have a show right now.”