Page 64 of Blue Moon

“Yes. Would you like to see my plane?”

“Really? You’d take me?”

“Yes. We’ll go tomorrow. Until then, I have something for you.”

I handed him a small metal Blue Angel plane I had stashed in my pocket. He beamed.

“Thank you! Mama, look!”

Lila ignored him, and my throat burned.

“You’re welcome. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I stood up, my mind racing.

“Hey, do you have his DNA on file?”

“Yeah, I did 23andMe to try to find his dad. No luck.”

Wait, my DNA was on 23andMe, as well. I’d tried to find my own dad but had never found any leads. “I have mine uploaded. We would’ve matched. Can we check again?”

And there in the lobby, on our phones, we compared DNA test results. It was sadly not a match. A deep wave of disappointment washed over me.

But this boy needed me.

And quite possibly, I needed him more.

Lila shrugged. “Well, too bad. I may put him in foster care. I just need a break.”

I took her hand. “Would you seriously have given him to me if I was his bio- dad?”

She shrugged. “Yeah, why not? You’re a military pilot. I could’ve gotten back child support. He doesn’t even have healthcare. But you’re not, so I’m shit out of luck. I can never catch a break.”

Catching a break would be giving up her son? How could she be so callous about him? But then again, my mom hadn’t cared about me either.

“Well, what’s changed? What if . . .” I couldn’t believe I was about to say this, but I continued. “What if I wanted to adopt him? I don’t care that he’s not biologically mine. He needs someone who loves him. My mom didn’t want me either. And I knew. It was painful.”

Her jaw dropped open. “You would honestly raise a child who wasn’t yours? I’m confused. You want to be with me and be his stepdad?”

Not just no, but hell no. Though I did realize that I must’ve been drawn to her in the past because she reminded me of my own mother. Beck was right—I did need therapy.

“No, Lila. I don’t want to be with you. And I’m sorry I texted you tonight. I’d been seeing someone up until recently, and I fell in love with her. But I got scared, so I ghosted her. I didn’t realize that until now. She makes me want to be a better person. But when I saw your little boy, I had an epiphany. I overcame all these obstacles in my life, not to be a Blue Angel, but to help other people. And I want to help your son. And . . .”

I took a deep breath.

I had to do this. Five minutes ago, she was willing to give this boy to me based on a DNA test. She was considering foster care. And I knew from our nights together, she liked to get high.

Who knew where this boy would end up? He could be beaten, neglected, or molested, just like I had been. I may not be his biological dad, but I was meant to be placed in his path.

This was exactly why I had become a Blue Angel. I just hadn’t known it.

Until now.

“If you’re serious about wanting to give him up for adoption or place him in foster care, I’d like to raise him. You can still see him whenever you want. But he needs a stable home.”

She hugged me and began to cry. “Sawyer Roberts. You truly are an Angel. I knew you were a great man the second I met you. Honestly, I just want to be free. Move to the Virgin Islands. Reclaim the last five years. Find myself. If you’re serious, you’d be a lifesaver. To him and me both. He’s a good boy. I wish I didn’t resent him. God knows I’ve tried to love him, but I just don’t have it in me to love him the way a mother should.”

Her words crushed me. Had my own mom resented me?

“I’m serious. We can figure out what we need to do legally. I’ll even pay for the attorney’s fees.” I looked over at Neil. “Meet me here tomorrow, and I’ll take him to see my plane.”

I said good night to Neil and then went to my room, alone.

And I immediately made plans to go get Sol back.