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“Isn’t there food at home?”
He shakes his head.
Annoyed he didn’t tell me sooner, I clutch the wheel and let out a deep breath. “No, to stopping at McDonald’s,” I say, and he whines. “But we can stop at the grocery store.”
“I want nachos,” he says.
“Fine. Whatever you want just stop bothering Jade and be quiet back there.”
He folds his arms across his chest and smirks. “Why? You afraid she might prefer me over you?”
“Oh my God,” Jade says under her breath, sliding her seatbelt back on. She turns to look over her shoulder at Finn. “You don’t have a shot. Sorry, kid.”
My laughter fills the car as I drive out of the parking lot of Finn’s high school.
After we stop at the grocery store, I park in front of my mother’s house in South Philly. With our hands full of bags, the three of us walk up the front steps of the rowhouse. Anxious about what I might find on the other side of the door, I turn the key in the lock and push the door open. Who knows what condition my mother’s in. She could be dancing in the kitchen baking cookies or passed out on the couch high on pills. It all depends on her mood that day.
“How was Mom this morning?” I ask Finn before we enter the house.
He shrugs, his backpack sliding off his shoulder. “Okay, I guess. You know, the usual.”
Even though he’s in high school now, I know this situation with our mom can’t be easy for him. I went through it at his age, and my mother has only gotten worse over the years. I’ve been both of their parents for as long as I can remember.
I open the door, holding it for Finn to pass, and stop Jade. “I told you about my mom before, so you know what to expect. She’s sick, okay? Please keep that in mind. She can’t help it.”
Jade swallows, shifting the weight of the bag in her hand and nods.
We enter the house and step into the living room where my mom is asleep on the couch curled up with a pillow on her side, her back facing us. At least she’s sleeping. It could have been worse.
I lead Jade through the small living and dining room and into the kitchen. Finn is already tearing open a bag of Cheetos and popping the top on a can of soda. Why am I surprised? The kid eats everything in sight. That’s why food never lasts them more than four days at a time. How he managed to survive without asking me for help is a surprise to me. He usually calls when he needs something.
I set the bags on the counter and then take the one Jade was carrying from her hand.
Finn leans against the counter, his hand shoved inside a bag of tortilla chips. “Can you stay for a little bit?”
His eyes tell me he doesn’t want to be left alone with my mom. He spends so much time here with her, and all of her issues, that I constantly feel bad. I wish I could bring him to the on-campus house I share with my teammates. Though, he’d get into so much trouble if I could. My brother is like me in many ways and not just in looks.
He’s managed to get himself into plenty of trouble with the kids in the neighborhood and at school. We have the same DNA, so there’s no surprise there. But I don’t want him to be like me or to end up doing the same shit I do to survive. Everything I do is to keep Finn from making the same mistakes. My hope is to get a fresh start for all of us.
I look over at Jade, who’s biting the inside of her cheek, looking as though she feels out of place. She always looks like she’s ready to jump out of her skin, apart from the times when it’s just us.
“Do you mind if we stay for a little bit? I know I promised we would hang out later, but…”
“Yeah,” she says. “It’s okay. We can stay.”
“Sweet,” Finn says, glancing across the kitchen at me. “Wanna play Mage Wars?”
We’re both pretty obsessed with the video game Universe Jamie’s dad created. I’ve been playing in that world since I was a kid, and Finn has picked up my love for video games.
“Sure. But no cheating this time.”
He laughs, shoving a bunch of chips into his mouth. “You gave me the cheat codes. I don’t see why I can’t use them.”
“Not while you’re playing with me, you little brat.”
He laughs. “Fine, I promise not to cheat.”
After Finn makes a plate of nachos, we follow him upstairs and into his bedroom. I sink to the mattress next to my brother. He sets the plate of nachos next to him and hands me a controller.
