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How can he do this to me? I’ve been there for him through everything. He needs me whether he realizes it or not. But I can’t exactly push my way into his house or break into it. I stood outside of his bedroom window for at least thirty minutes before I couldn’t stand the heated gazes of those watching me from a distance.
None of his teammates bothered to answer the door even though I know most of them were home.
Shannon talked to Jamie, who said Killian needs more time before he comes around. He said he loves me. Jamie confirmed he still cares about me, and that he thinks by avoiding me he’s saving me from a horrible life with him. What he doesn’t realize is that I don’t have a life without him in it.
Shannon steers me over to my bed, and we sit so close our thighs brush against each other. I stare down at the carpet, the tears falling from my eyes so fast I can’t stop them.
“When he’s ready, he’ll beg you for forgiveness,” Shannon promises. “He’s worked his entire life to attend Strick U. I understand more than anyone what it’s like to do whatever it takes to come to a school you can’t afford just so you can have a better life.”
“I’m sorry,” I say.
She raises an eyebrow at me. “For what?”
“That it’s so hard for you… and for Killian. I wish I could say I understand what it’s like, but I don’t. Until my father cut me off, I had everything handed to me. I keep trying to put myself in Killian’s shoes. I want to understand.”
“You don’t have to feel guilty all the time for having money.”
“I don’t have money anymore.” I still can’t believe my father followed through on his threat.
She smiles, though it looks forced. “At least you still have all of the things from when you were rich. You could sell them. That’s what I would do.”
“I never even thought to do that,” I admit. “How dumb does that make me?”
I know Killian would have thought of that, too. Like Shannon, he’s a true survivor. Both of them do whatever it takes to get by.
Shannon doesn’t answer. She has no idea what to say. And why would she? Who can relate to the rich girl who loses her fortune?
“Did I ever tell you his friends call me rich girl?” I sigh at the thought of Chase and his attitude toward me in the beginning. “Or at least they did when we first started dating. I should have known a long time ago we were never meant to be together. The odds were stacked against us from the start. Our relationship started with a lie. Why should I expect our end to be any different?”
“You’re giving up.” Shannon cups my hand on the bed, her eyes pinning me in place. “He needs you. Don’t let his behavior take away from everything you’ve done to help him. I don’t know Killian as well as you do, but Jamie is really close to him. Right now, Killian feels like his entire world is falling apart. He’s in a self-deprecating mode. Don’t give up on him or your relationship, not when he needs you to be the glue to hold it all together. I wish I would’ve heard Jamie out when he tried to convince me that he wasn’t dating Cece. Instead, I let months go by where we weren’t together, only to realize I was an idiot not to give him a chance. I could have lost him forever over a misunderstanding. Don’t let that happen with Killian, or you will regret it, that much I can promise you.”
I swipe the tears from my cheeks and glance over at Shannon. “He needs to come to me if he wants to make this right. I’ve already done so much to try to help him. Killian doesn’t want me around. It’s like I was only good enough when he needed me to wait on him the first two weeks, and then once he got addicted to those pills, he didn’t want me around anymore.”
“He told you he loves you,” she points out.
“While he was high on pills,” I counter.
“He loves you, girl, you know he does. I see the way he looks at you. It’s like you’re his property. Like you belong to him. The way he watches over you is intense.”
“Then why isn’t he here?” I throw my hands out at my sides, frustrated. “If he cares so much, he wouldn’t have pushed me away. He would have done everything in his power to make me stay.”
She taps me on the back. “Typical man. He’ll come around. Just give him some space and time to think.”
Staring down at the final exam on my desk, I bite my pen cap and sigh. This test is hard as hell. With everything that’s happened over the last few weeks, my focus has gone out the window. Killian has consumed so much of my thoughts that I can’t even think straight, let alone study for the final test of the year. So, when he slides into the desk next to me and says, “Hey,” I assume I’m hallucinating.
