Page 19 of Broken

If pain hadn’t robbed her of sight already, she wouldn’t be able to look at him. Thankfully, his loud steps hinted that he’d moved far away.

When she was comfortable again, she gathered her strength to stand, but Giles returned. He swept her up without a word, took her back to bed, and tucked her in with more care than any nursemaid ever had.

“What can I get you, Lilly?”

He pushed her sweat-damp hair from her face then patted soft linen against her skin. Unwilling to see the pity in his gaze, she kept her eyes closed. She was such a failure as a woman.

As the pain settled down again, bare fingertips brushed her temple. More tears gathered and these fell down her cheeks. Giles kindly brushed them away without a word.

“I am thirsty.”

His fingers wriggled into Lilly’s hair, supporting her head as she rose. Cool, slippery glass pressed to her lips and she took a few hasty sips with her eyes still closed. Lilly lay back, gasping for air. The pain had obliterated her ability to hide how bad she felt. Again, Giles brushed her face with a touch as gentle as a feather. “Will you eat now?”

“In a little while, perhaps.”

Something strange brushed against her temple. She opened her eyes. Giles’ lips were an inch from her skin. Warm breath beat against her cheek as his head settled to touch hers. She snapped her eyes shut.

“You need to eat, Lilly. I will have the housekeeper bring up a tray for you, but do not ever hesitate to ask me to help you. I have a great deal to make up for.”

Giles made a small, indistinct sound, and then he withdrew from the bed. When she reopened her eyes, he was truly gone from the room and she was all alone. Only Atticus stayed.

However would she be able to forget what had just passed?

Lilly lay still as the pain receded to a dull ache, attempting to alter the memory so it wasn’t a chamber pot he carried her to but a cushioned chaise, complete with champagne and cherries to nibble on. That memory would be much easier to contemplate if it were true.

When Giles returned, she found she could look at him without blushing. He brought servants with him, one for the fire and one for the chamber pot. Her little fantasy crumbled as the contents flew out the window.

“Good morning, Miss Winter.” A plain, round-faced woman carrying a well-laden tray hurried toward her. “I’m Mrs. Osprey, his lordship’s housekeeper. Do you remember me?”

Lilly searched her mind, but shook her head the tiniest amount. “I’m sorry. My memory is not what it should be. It’s nice to meet you again, Mrs. Osprey. What have you there?”

“Scrambled eggs, ham, fresh buttered bread, and a saucer of hot chocolate. A breakfast fit for a lady.” The housekeeper beamed, set the tray down on the bed, then shooed the dog away when he took too much interest in it.

Lilly gulped back sudden nausea at the thought of eating all that food. She closed her eyes tightly.

Giles covered her wrist with a light pressure that sent shivers down her spine. “What is it?”

“Too much,” Lilly whispered, blinded by the urge to cast up her accounts. Not that there would be much to come out, but dry retching was horrid and always made her headaches worse.

She breathed her way through the sensation and eventually opened her eyes. Mrs. Osprey and the breakfast tray were gone.

“My apologies. We did not consider that your stomach might be delicate. Mrs. Osprey will fetch something plainer,” Giles murmured, brushing a handkerchief across her clammy brow. “Are you all right now?”

He refolded the cloth but Lilly was puzzled by his attendance. “Yes, the nausea has passed. I would eat it if I could. Please apologize to Cook for the inconvenience.”

“Don’t worry about Cook. She will enjoy the challenge,” Giles assured her, brushing her hair away from her face.

He glanced at his hand then laughed heartily at something only he found funny. He didn’t explain. Unfortunately, his movements shook the bed.

Lilly could not help but groan aloud. “Can you measure me a portion of laudanum, please?”

“I am afraid not.” Giles squeezed her hand gently in his larger one and held it tightly. “On my order, we do not keep that mixture at Cottingstone. Mrs. Osprey checked through your baggage and could not find further bottles anywhere. You will have to survive without.”

Giles waited for her reply, but she didn’t know what to say. She had never had to deal with the pain without the medicine before. Surely, she could manage until Papa returned.

Giles rubbed the back of her hand, soothing her worries away for all of a minute. “Can I do anything else for you?”

Her eyes fluttered shut. Although the dark frightened her, she couldn’t tolerate the bright light any longer. Her pulse beat a fast tempo behind her eyes, sending sharp pain to the top of her skull. “The light is too bright. Would you mind closing the drapes?”