Page 34 of Broken

“It’s no trouble. I dine like this all the time.”

But that was a lie. He might dine elegantly in London, but not here at Cottingstone. His staff had exceeded his requirements. Along the walls, his servants were dressed formally for the occasion. Davis Senior pulled back Lilly’s chair, but Giles waved him away and seated her himself, admiring the curve of her neck and the trail of blonde locks down Lilly’s back. Moving away proved difficult.

When the servants ladled out the first course, Lilly’s hands twisted in her lap. She stared at the silverware before her. Giles suddenly had the insight that she had not sat down to dine formally as an adult often, if ever. Another near blunder on his part, but one he could help correct.

As the servants stepped back, Giles tapped absently at the correct implement. “I think the workmen should be finished soon, and then we will have peace here again.”

Lilly’s eyes flickered downward to his tapping finger, and then back at his face. “I hadn’t noticed they were particularly distracting.”

Giles picked up his spoon, twisting it in his fingers, fully aware that Lilly watched his actions closely. He spooned up a lady-sized portion and tasted slowly in the manner preferred by those of society.

“It’s been frightfully disturbing to have so much noise about the place. I can hardly get my rest.”

Lilly spooned up her first taste, and Giles watched her tongue swipe her top lip with interest. “Do you have much to recover from?”

“The season has been a touch wearing.”

By example, Giles helped her through the various courses of the meal without a word spoken on the subject. When the dessert course arrived, Lilly appeared more relaxed at the table and asked questions about the current events in London. It was surprising, but she knew of a great number of the highest members of London society already.

“Papa has always tried to keep me aware of the important members of the ton, even if I have not had the opportunity to meet them. He could hardly invite them to take tea in my sick room, after all.” She took a mouthful of the syllabub and closed her eyes in apparent pleasure. Giles tried not to laugh at her expression.

A flick of his hand dismissed the servants. “How has he managed to keep you undetected for so long? I assume you have been prowling about in nothing but your nightgown and cloak, given the state of your wardrobe.”

Lilly grinned. “If a ball was held in the home we were staying in, he would bring me to a secluded spot to watch people and pointed out those I needed to know.”

“I still don’t understand how you were never spoken of. London is full of gossips and I never heard a word about your presence there.”

“Perhaps the people who saw me don’t gossip.”

Giles had to include his own self in that number. He hadn’t told a soul that he was seeing what he believed at the time to be a ghost. They might have thought him mad. But wonders would never cease—a secret could actually be kept in London.

“What of your mother?” he asked carefully. “What does she think of your travels over the country?”

He remembered what Lord Winter had said, but it had to be hard on the girl. She must miss loving feminine companionship.

Lilly set her spoon down. “I don’t know my mother, Giles. I have not seen her since the accident. But that is no great change from when I was growing up. She did not feature heavily in my childhood,” Lilly assured him. “I would rather not alert her to my improvement, if possible. She is not overly fond of me. Please don’t write to her.”

Giles tensed at her request. Somehow, Lilly was aware of her mother’s preference that she not live after the accident. An appalling spike of rage thundered through him. No wonder Lord Winter had kept them apart.

Her light touch ghosted over his clenched fist, and he made an effort to calm himself. Giles turned to look at the innocent creature at his side and tried to smile, though he knew it would be a forced effort and not completely believable.

Giles’ mouth trembled with the need to reassure her that, here at Cottingstone Manor, no one would wish her ill. For goodness sake, his entire staff had been standing on their heads to secure her comfort and happiness. Just consider his overdressed servants, for instance. Giles knew they hated those uniforms and he hadn’t asked them to wear them. Nevertheless, he was sure they had done it solely for Lilly’s benefit.

Lilly squeezed the back of his hand. “It is all right, Giles. I have had a few years to get used to the notion. I hardly think of her anymore.”

“That still does not make it right though, does it?”

Lilly pried his fingers apart and took a firm grip on his hand. Giles’ heart pounded in response.

“Of course it is not right, but it is what I have to deal with. None of us gets to choose our family, do we?”

Giles shook his head as he thought of the easy life he had led. His sister possessed the disposition of a screeching harpy, but she was as much trouble as an insect bite in comparison to the Winters. “Only one time,” he muttered unwisely, as an appalling thought slammed into his head.

Luckily, Lilly didn’t ask what he meant. There was one occasion when it was possible to choose your family. All Giles’ inner barriers slammed into place and hid behind years of entrenched opinion, hiding like mice from a hungry cat. Giles loosened his hold on Lilly’s hand and finished his glass of wine.

Marriage was the only opportunity Lilly would have to choose a new family.

Mother had claimed Lilly would have made a fine Wexham.