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She gasps. “Shut. Up.”
I explain how I entered the bathroom in search of toothpaste and got a view that still has me thinking about how good Dylan looks naked.
“I’m so jelly,” she whines. “I wish I was living with all that man candy.”
“Don’t be.”
“Didn’t you say Dylan’s amazing in bed?”
I nod. “He’s a selfish asshole, but he gets off on how many orgasms he can give in one night.”
“Men,” she groans with laughter in her tone. “You could use him for sex if that’s what you want from him.”
I told Willow about Dylan and his impressive skills one day when we were swapping stories about our exes. Dylan, to this day, is still the best I have ever had. From what I have gathered from other women, your first time isn’t usually that memorable. But for me, Dylan was everything. I couldn’t forget him if I tried.
“I can’t go down that road again,” I admit with a sigh. “I never should’ve dated Dylan. It was a mistake. I hated lying to my brother. We both did.”
“What if your brother didn’t care?”
I consider her question and then burst into a fit of laughter. “Yeah, right. Sloan would control every aspect of my life if he could.”
“Dylan is his best friend. He’s already like family. Why would Sloan care if you dated Dylan?”
“Because years ago, when Sloan caught Dylan looking at me, they got into a huge fight and didn’t speak to each other for days.”
“I don’t get it.” She stuffs the last bite of her burrito into her mouth and mumbles, “You would think Sloan would want you to date someone he already trusts instead of some random dude.”
“You don’t know Sloan the way I do. If he had it his way, I would be a nun and living in a convent.”
She giggles and then leans closer, her voice a whisper. “On a serious note, when was the last time you had sex?”
“Umm…” I hold up both hands, running out of fingers as I tick off the number of months since my last boyfriend. “A while ago.”
She rolls her eyes. “Girl, be honest with me.”
“Fourteen months.”
“For real, girl, you could use a little bit of Dylan in you. You better jump on his dick the next time you see him.”
I laugh at her stupidity, hoping no one in the restaurant overheard her. “I’ve lived without him for years.”
“I bet you won’t last another week without hopping into bed with him.”
I narrow my eyes at her. “Wanna bet?”
She flashes a crooked smile and then winks. “Good luck with that.”
“How about a different bet?”
I cock my head to the side. “What do you have in mind?”
She sips her soda from the straw, staring at me across the table. “Have sex with Dylan, because we both know you need it. But, I bet you can’t have sex with Dylan without catching feelings for him.”
I laugh. “You’re so wrong.”
“So, then what’s the problem? It sounds like he’s still attracted to you. And you definitely want to jump his sexy bod. Use him to blow the dust off your lady parts.”
Digging my teeth into my bottom lip, I glance out the window that overlooks the busy street. “It’s a bad idea. We have too much history.”
“Well, what happened between you guys that was such a deal breaker?”
To this day, no one knows the truth about what happened between Dylan and me. He only knows what I could handle at time. Not like it mattered. Dylan was content on moving across the country to start his company with Sloan. And I was left behind to pick up the pieces of my life.
“Dylan messed up, and I never forgave him.”
She digs her elbows into the table, holding my gaze. “You’ve said that before, but what was so bad?”
Should I tell her?
A brief pause passes between us, where I consider telling her the truth. Willow is my only real friend in Los Angeles. I have acquaintances I met through school and acting but none one I would trust with my secrets. I want to tell Willow everything. Maybe once I tell Willow it won’t feel like someone’s cutting into my chest with a knife. But it hurts too much to relive the most painful time in my life. Because one drunken night with Dylan changed everything for me.
“We got a little carried away one night,” I say in a hushed tone. “Sex with Dylan was… an experience. Like I would lose myself with him. And he did the same with me. One night, we were drinking and forgot to use a condom. We were so smashed and so horny, and so damn in love.” I blow out a deep breath. “I did love him… Maybe a little too much.”
Her eyes widen. “Did you get pregnant?”
I nod. “I took like ten home pregnancy tests, and after a nervous breakdown, I drove to Cambridge to tell Dylan. He didn’t take it well. We got into a huge fight. Dylan said a lot of horrible shit that he still says he wishes he could take back.”
