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“You promised me you would talk.” My tone is firm and steady. ‘So, I expect you will hold up your end of the agreement.”
He nods, maintaining eye contact. “As long as you promise to keep what I tell you to yourself. This part of my life is not anyone’s business, and I don’t want to expose my family to a media nightmare over something that happened a long time ago.”
Taking a sip from the mug, I peek at the notes I had written down last night. What questions should I ask? Where do I even begin? After learning the dark truth about Tyler and his ex-girlfriend, I knew I couldn’t publicize his personal life.
“I thought you could give me more of an exclusive insight into the team and the organization as a whole. I want to know what it’s like to play for the team you grew up idolizing. I want to know why you started playing hockey and why you refuse to play for another team. I—”
Tyler stops me before I can continue. “That’s the story you want from me? And you will keep it professional? You won’t mention my family?”
“Yes, of course.
You have my word.” I mean it.
“I was a little worried that you would write about Blake and Payton, and I just…” His voice trails off, as he looks away from me, ashamed. I can tell he didn’t want to give up his son in the way his body language shifts, but I also figured as much when I saw the adoption was open, allowing him to visit with his son every month.
“Can I ask you one thing that I swear will never go viral?”
He holds his breath far too long before letting it out. “I can’t guarantee I will answer, but what do you want to know?”
“Why did you give Blake up for adoption if you wanted to be part of his life?” Afraid my words came off too harsh, I stop myself for a second to rethink my next statement. “I know you go to the Hudsons house every month to visit him. That must be hard on you.”
He clenches his jaw, the tension in his body evident from his face down, making me nervous in response. “Look, I’m not angry with you or your questions. I want to tell you everything. I wish I could. But I am not used to sharing this part of my life with anyone. I don’t know you, even though I would like to get to know you better. Opening up to you, or anyone for that matter, is not something that comes easily to me.”
I reach across the table to touch him, provide him with some form of comfort, and he takes my hand in his and squeezes hard. “You can trust me, Tyler. I have known about Blake for days and haven’t said a word to anyone. Whatever tough guy front you put on with me at your house cannot happen again if you want me to give you another shot. Understand?”
“Yes, but you also have to realize that this is a big step for me and that no amount of pushing and prodding will get you the answers you are looking for.”
“Okay, then start talking. I want to know what happened and why you have kept Blake a secret.”
He lowers his head, avoiding direct eye contact with me. “It’s a long story.”
I run my thumb across his skin and grip his hand. “I have time.”
He glances over his shoulder to scan the coffee shop. “Can we do this somewhere more private?”
“I don’t live far from here. How about my apartment?”
He nods. “That’s perfect.”
After I make a pot of coffee and pour us each a cup, I set the mugs down on the coffee table in the living room in front of Tyler and take a seat next to him.
“I don’t know if I’m ready…” He stops for a second to collect his thoughts before locking onto me. “But I will try to tell you everything.”
I clamp down on his arm, all too aware of how tight his biceps feel beneath my fingers. “We don’t have to do this.”
“No, I want to, believe me, I do. Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep this part of my life private, never allowing anyone to get too close out of fear they will run to the news and blab their mouth? You already know the truth, so there’s no point in trying to pretend that you are wrong.”
Holding my other hand up to my heart, I say, “I won’t tell a soul. I promise.”
“I know.” He smiles but only for a second before it’s replaced by a frown. “We were seventeen when Payton got pregnant. The first time I saw her,” the corners of his mouth turn up as he speaks about her, “I was a goner. She was pretty, smart, funny, and knew all the right things to say. I was an awkward, lanky kid at the time. I was shocked when she agreed to go out with me. Over time, I had grown into my body and made the varsity hockey team, but she gave me a chance before I was the Tyler Kane everyone knows now. She was the love of my life. Everyone loved her. I had all of my firsts with Payton.”
Tyler leans back and into the wall of couch pillows, taking a second to suck in a deep breath and let it out before he continues. “My parents flipped out when Payton and I told them she was pregnant. They wanted Payton to have an abortion. I wanted her to keep the baby, but I had no idea how I would raise a child without an income. My dad said if we decided to raise Blake that I was out on the street. His focus was on my hockey career, and he wasn’t going to let anything get in the way of me going pro. The funny thing is he changed his mind after Blake was born, but it was too late by the time he had come around.”
“Payton’s parents are the devout Catholic type that goes to church every weekend. They were against abortion and wanted Payton and me to give Blake up for adoption. After she started to show, her parents sent her to live with her grandparents in New York. That was how we found the Hudsons. For the last five months of her pregnancy, Payton lived down the street from Blake’s adoptive parents. She would go for walks around the neighborhood with her grandmother and talk to the neighbors, and when Payton found out the Hudsons had been trying to have a baby for three years without any luck, she asked them if they were looking into adoption.”
“Britt and Steve Hudson went to all of Payton’s doctor's appointments. Britt was even her partner in her Lamaze classes. They are good people, the best. As much as I didn’t want to give Blake up for adoption, I knew they were the right fit for my son. I wasn’t in the mental or financial position to take care of a baby, and Payton’s family wanted her to have a future that didn’t involve me.”
“How come you went with an open adoption?” I try to be as delicate as possible with my questions. “I’m just surprised that you never missed a visit with Blake in over eight years.”
