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Matching her movements, we work in harmony together, our orgasms almost perfectly timed. And, when she comes for me, I lose all control as I stare into her eyes, listen to her screams. She’s everything I ever wanted and more.
I lean forward, and Kennedy meets me halfway, her lips crashing against mine, a slow burn beneath my skin. Her kisses are passionate and soft, combined with my fire and intensity.
As she pulls away from my lips, I graze her cheek with my calloused thumb. “You’re so beautiful, Ken. I can’t wait for my family to meet you.”
She hops off me and onto her side of the bed, propping herself up on her side, so we are facing. “I’m looking forward to it. I just hope your parents like me.”
/> The nervous anticipation of her meeting my parents and Blake for the first time made me both giddy and freaked out all at once. Payton will be there, most likely with Noah and her husband. I had a reprieve from him the last few months, but from what my mom had told me on the phone this week, it sounded as if she plans to bring him along for the ride.
A small part of my wanted Kennedy to come to fill the void, but I also want to share this part of my life with her. I am ready to open my heart, to share everything I have with another woman.
Brushing a strand of hair from her face, I plant a kiss on her lips. “They will love you. I promise.”
She smiles, and I pray that my parents will not be jerks this time around because I cannot have them ruining this for me.
The entire ride from Kennedy’s apartment in Philly to the Hudsons house in Long Island has me sick to my stomach. For starters, I always worry about getting there on time, out of fear I will hit traffic, show up late, and somehow disappoint Blake. I am always afraid of letting him down because I feel as though in some ways I already have. If only I had a magic wand and could undo this one decision. But the choices I made are what led me here and with Kennedy at my side.
Kennedy has spoken maybe a few words to me since we drove over the bridge and into New York. While I welcome the silence, my thoughts occupying too much of my headspace and the sound of my own breathing is starting to freak me out a little bit. Turned down to a low volume, the radio is almost non-existent with noise of the road serving as our only distraction.
She shuffles around in her seat, her eyes pointed out the window, and clears her throat.
Am I making this awkward for her without even realizing? Should I say something to help calm both of our nerves?
I slide my hand onto her bare thigh, thinking about what she has on under her dress. She was so worried about what to wear that she ended up pairing a yellow cardigan and white sundress together, reminding me of something you would wear to church. The first time we met, she had on the most bizarre outfit she could find. I thought she was crazy but mostly crazy beautiful.
My touch draws her attention away from the road, and she glances at me with her blue eyes, wide and watery. Is she crying? I have no idea if those are tears in her eyes or if it’s just the way the sun reflects off her irises, making them shimmer in the light.
“What time is the game tomorrow? Seven, right?” She’s referring to the Stanley Cup Finals.
“Yeah. Donovan is coming over to watch with us if that’s okay.”
“That’s perfect.” Her face lights up, and I have no idea why she’s so excited about Donovan coming over to my house to watch the playoffs. She bites down on her lip, looking away from me with a devious expression on her face.
“Why is that perfect?” I ask because now her behavior has piqued my curiosity.
“Well…Sydney wanted to meet him.”
I laugh to myself because after reading a few of Kennedy and Sydney’s blog posts, Donovan had wanted to meet the smut writer live and in the flesh.
“You should see if she wants to come over tomorrow. Maybe I’ll ask Parker and Coach to hang out with us. We can make it a date night.”
She removes her cell phone from her purse with a huge grin. “We’re doing this. You and I…we’re together.”
“Why are you acting like this is something new? I’ve spent almost every day with you for nearly two months now.”
I give her leg a squeeze, the feel of her soft skin beneath my fingers making it hard for me to concentrate. I want to pull over and onto the side of the road to fuck the tension from our bodies. The closer we get to the Hudsons, the more I can taste the bile in the back of my throat, rising up from my empty stomach and choking me.
She leans back against the headrest and peeks over at me from beneath her light brows. “I had everything taken from me overnight, Tyler. I went from being the heiress of Sentry Publications to living in a shitty apartment and almost losing my small online paper. I don’t believe in fairy tales or happy endings. I don’t’ believe in love at first sight or soul mates, but when I’m with you, there’s so much more to us than just sex. I’m afraid I’ll wake up, and it will disappear, that one day you’ll realize you’re not ready to have me in your life. What if you panic like you did when I first figured out you had a son? Our relationship had a rocky start, and everything is great between us. When something is too good to be true, it’s often because it is and someone is lining up behind you, ready to yank it all away.” She shrugs against her seat. “That’s my experience, anyway.”
Absorbing everything she just said, I take a moment to collect my thoughts before responding. “I know what it’s like to have everything you love taken away from you, baby. Trust me. I have endured enough heartbreak and sadness to last a lifetime. Do you think it was easy for me to give up my son after holding him in my arms? Do you have any idea what that was like for me?”
She turns her head as she wipes the corner of her eye. “No, I cannot even imagine what that was like for you. You were trying to do what you thought was right for your son at the time. As a seventeen-year-old boy with no income and no support from your family, you were in no position to raise a child on your own. No one can judge you or fault you for doing what you thought was best for Blake.”
“I know that, but I hang on to so much regret over that decision. Every day I wake up and wonder how he’s doing. The Hudsons were a great choice for our son, Payton did an excellent job in vetting them, but I feel an incredible amount of guilt for choosing hockey over my son.”
“You didn’t choose hockey over Blake.” Kennedy runs her fingers down my arm, her touch soothing me. “You wanted a better life for your son, one you wouldn’t have been able to give him. You decided to give him a future, Tyler. I don’t know why you can’t see that. He has a mother and father who love him, and even though you and Payton could have given him the same thing had you had been in the position to do so, he still has both of you in his life.”
For the first time in years, someone has put this situation into perspective for me. I never listened to anyone before, but Kennedy’s words pierce right through me, slicing into my chest. I am not the evil man I have made myself out to be all these years. Why do I keep torturing myself? I tried to do what I thought was best, yet I have never allowed myself to see that. Seeing myself through Kennedy’s eyes gives me a new outlook.
