Page 114 of Getting Down to Business

They hadn’t mentioned Mia’s earlier announcement or her reaction to it. He was biding his time for now. Instead he focused on making her feel good. And he could tell from the way she let her head roll from side to side that so far, he was successful.

He leaned up when she didn’t say anything. Then he heard a sniff and saw the worst thing ever.

Tears streamed down both cheeks as she looked up at the ceiling, her jaw clenched tight.

“Shit! What is it? Did I hurt you, Liss?” He removed his hands from her shoulders. She didn’t seem hurt. At least not physically.

A sob caught in her throat and she shook her head.

“You didn’t hurt me. I’m fine.”

“You’re obviously not fine. What is it? Please tell me.”

Again she shook her head.

“Alyssa, let me help you.”

He placed his fingers on her chin and guided her face toward him so she had no choice but to look at him. “Tell me.”

“I’m scared.”

“Of what?”

“Of…you.” Her voice shook as she tried to hide her face from him again. He released his grip immediately, though he hadn’t been holding her hard enough to cause pain.

“Me?” he choked. “I would never hurt you.” Again he looked her over, thinking she was suffering from some physical pain he had caused.

“I know that. It’s just this.” She moved her hand back and forth between them.

“This?” He didn’t understand.

“I didn’t want to go out with Mia last week. I wanted to be with you. I always want to be with you.” Her words finally clicked.

“I only ever want to be with you too,” he confessed.

“We said we weren’t going to let this happen,” she said as she pulled away from him. “We’re getting too comfortable with each other. And what happened with Mia and the Philly guy has me worried that I could end up wanting the same sort of thing with you.”

“That’s not necessarily a bad thing, Liss. We’re happy together. Why can’t we just go with it?”

“And what happens when it doesn’t work out? I’ll be right back where I was, with deeper scars and heavier baggage.”

“You don’t know that. Maybe this could be good.”

“I can’t. This isn’t what I signed up for. Don’t you get it? I’m too messed up. Anytime you work late or go to the gym, I wonder if that’s really where you are. It’s none of my business so I never ask, but I keep waiting for the cops to knock on the door to take you off to prison. I don’t let myself plan too far ahead because you might not be here.”

“I will be here. I’m not a rapist or anything else. I’m just a regular guy who wants to try to have something real with you.”

“I don’t do real, Grayson. I told you that from the beginning.”

“Then what do you want? Tell me how you want to handle this?” He couldn’t hide his panic. She looked like a caged animal about to run away and never come back. He couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t lose her. Not until he had a chance to fix things.

“I think we should go back to just being roommates. Nothing else.”

Gray knew that would never work. Their attraction was undeniable. They wouldn’t be able to keep their hands off each other. But he was afraid if he refused, she would bolt.

“Okay,” he agreed hastily, holding up both hands. “We’ll do it how you want, until you feel safe enough to trust me. I’m not going anywhere, Alyssa. I’m willing to wait however long it takes for you to trust me.” He realized now it was too late to save himself. Everything he wanted was in the hands of this woman.

“I’m not going to change my mind. I can’t change my mind even if I wanted to. It doesn’t work that way. I’ll never be able to trust anyone. I’m broken,” she said, wiping tears from her cheeks. “I’m not meant to be happy. It wouldn’t be fair.”