Page 47 of The Lady’s Great Escape

“I can’t say for sure since I already had other experiences with women, but I would hope to know the difference between an experience, and a life-altering moment with the woman I wanted to spend my life with.”

Even as he pleaded his case, he saw her answer in the set of her mouth. She was about to reject him. Again.

Fortunately, more trays were brought in then so they were forced to silence. They took their seats and waited to be served without looking at one another. They were only alone again a few seconds before Gray came in.

There would be no announcement this morning.

Kit hadn’t won her hand. He wasn’t her fiancé, however he was still her lover and that was something he would continue to enjoy.

At least until she moved on to someone else. He frowned at his food, no longer very hungry.

*

Celia arrived atthe ball alone and waited for Kit to arrive. A few men approached and requested a dance. No one she felt any attraction to.

When Kit didn’t arrive by the time the music began, she worried she’d attended the wrong function. She was certain he’d told her he was attending the Sheridan ball. That was the reason she was there. But where was he?

As the night went on, she realized how much she missed having Kit there to laugh with. She’d actually looked to her side to share a smile with him when Lord Fortingham tripped over his wife’s elaborate gown. He’d reached out for anything to stop his stumble and his hand landed directly over the woman’s bountiful breast.

But the space beside Celia was empty and the moment went by without proper appreciation.

The night seemed to drag on, which was odd. Normally these events went by rather quickly.

Or they had when she’d been with Kit.

She wondered if he was upset about the way their conversation had gone that morning at breakfast. When he’d proposed marriage and she’d refused. He’d come to her room afterward and they’d made love as was becoming their ritual, but then he’d left to meet up with Gray soon after they’d finished.

No. He understood what she wanted. And she understood what he wanted. Something else must have kept him from attending tonight. Regardless of the reason, she was on her own.

Perhaps it was for the best. She could focus on finding her next lover instead of trading comical quips with Kit about Lord Fortingham.

She took in the men standing about. Most in conversation with other women. There were a few who were tempting, but when they looked in her direction, she quickly looked away so not to make eye contact.

She didn’t know them. She didn’t know what kind of men they were.

She checked the stairs again wishing for the hundredth time that Kit was here. He might know these men. He might even know them well enough to provide an introduction.

Unable to bear another minute of the ball, she left and instead of going home, she headed for Berwick Street.

Letting herself in through the back, she went through the house and found him sitting in his study with the door open. An empty glass sat on the desk beside him as he turned a page in a large ledger.

“You weren’t at the Sheridan Ball this evening,” she stated, causing him to look up. Unlike most times she addressed him, he didn’t offer a smile or look at all happy to see her. He didn’t look disappointed to see her either, but definitely not overcome with joy or desire.

“Good evening, countess.”

Countess. They were back to that, were they? Without the purr in his voice to make it sound seductive, she felt the coldness of the title.

“Are you ill?” she asked. Her concern for his well-being had grown as she’d ridden to his home. She’d spun horrible scenarios explaining his absence.

“I’m well. How are you?”

How was she? She was… irritated. She’d wanted to see him and he hadn’t been there.

The thought caught her up short. She almost backed out of the room and ran away. What was she doing? What was she thinking? She had no right to be irritated with him. He was not hers. He could do as he pleased. Marry whomever he wanted. She’d given up any right to his comings and goings when she’d turned him down.

She was not his wife. And never would be.

“Forgive me for barging in and interrupting your evening. It’s just that I thought you would be in attendance and well, Lord Fortingham… never mind it is of no matter.”