Page 63 of The Lady’s Great Escape

Chapter Twenty-Two

Morning came too soon. Kit watched as the sun kissed Celia’s skin, bathing her in pale light. He didn’t want this to end, but in reality, it had ended even before they’d begun.

Poets said leaving was sweet sorrow, but Kit felt nothing sweet about it at all. Instead, it felt as if his insides were being ripped from his body. And rather than wait for her to wake and face the awkward words he would use to hide his pain, he got up and dressed.

He’d never considered himself a coward until that moment when he dashed out of the house to the stable and had Melody ready his horse for the trip back to London.

“You’ll not be taking the carriage with the lady?”

“No.” Celia wished for freedom. He’d allow her every bit of freedom from Scotland to London. He’d not have left her to travel alone for it wasn’t safe. But she had her maid with her, and the coachman would see to the ladies.

Melody simply did as he’d asked, bringing Rufus around. In minutes he was off, galloping across a field at top speed.

It was common for Kit to give the stallion his head when they left the house so he could stretch out and settle in for the ride, but that was not what this was.

This was a full-on retreat to save his heart.

Poets also said time healed all wounds. That was yet to be determined.

*

Celia woke inan empty bed with an even emptier heart. Even before she left the bed, she knew Kit would be gone. The worst thing was that part of her was grateful he’d left without her.

She couldn’t face him after what they’d shared the night before and not waiver in her resolve to keep to her plan to experience all that the life of a widow had to offer.

This freedom was her reward for doing her duty for her family and marrying an elderly stranger. She’d saved her father and brother, as well as the tenants and the estates when she’d married Hamlin.

Now it was time to save herself. To have what she desired without having to give up anything to get it. But not at the expense of Kit’s heart. He wanted something different than she, but it was no less important.

With a new determination to do the right thing for both of them, she got dressed and prepared to return to her life.

It seemed a terribly long journey as she sat by the window of the carriage looking out at the endless green.

“Do you wish to talk about it?” Nettie offered after the first hour had passed in irritated silence. “It’s sure something is bothering you.”

“Yes. Something is bothering me, though I’m not sure why. I have exactly what I wanted. I’m no longer a virgin so Lord Hamlin will not be able to touch my settlement even if he pushes for an examination. I’ve enjoyed my time with Lord Stormont as my lover. And now I’m free to move on with whomever I chose. Just as I’d wanted.”

Nettie nodded and waited expectantly. However, Celia wasn’t sure what to say next. That should have been the extent of it. Every goal she’d made had come to fruition. Yet, she was still unsettled.

“The viscount has asked me to marry him.”

“You don’t seem pleased. He’s quite a handsome man, and kind from what I’ve seen. You wouldn’t do much better than him.” Nettie leaned closer despite them being alone in the carriage. “Scots are known to be beasts in bed. You’d know better than me, but I wanted you to know you might be disappointed with the dandies in London after that mound of man.”

“I allow you to speak too plainly,” Celia said with a frown which only made her insolent maid laugh.

“If not for my plain speaking, you wouldn’t have even considered the idea of taking a lover.”

“You’re right. I would have most likely married again, thinking I had no other options.”

“Marriage is not that bad if it’s with someone you like.”

“But I don’t want to have a husband. I want a lover.”

“A husband is often times also a lover.”

And it was that thought that continued to haunt her for days to come as they traveled for home.

The first morning after she returned, she entered the breakfast room to find Gray there already.