Page 92 of The Lady’s Great Escape

She looked at the clock to see it was much too early for brandy. Though she was certain she would need it for this conversation.

“What do you wish to say?” she asked politely, her back straight as she prepared for her brother to tug at her wounds.

“Why won’t you marry him? He told me he’s asked you more than once, and you turned him down.”

Celia frowned. His direct question caught her off guard. Before she could consider her answer, the truth began to pour from her lips. As if she was unable to keep this anger pushed down in her stomach a moment longer.

Gray was her brother so she could confide in him. After all, he’d been there that night. The night her heart was broken.

“I hold Kit in the highest esteem,” she started. “He would make a wonderful husband and I enjoy his company, but I find I am just so angry at him, Gray.”

“You could have fooled me for seeing the two of you together. Knowing how… intimate you were. What did he do to earn your ire?”

She shook her head. “Nothing recently. It was years ago. I’ve pretended to be over it and move on, but the truth is, he abandoned me during a time when I needed him most, and I can’t forgive him. I have tried. I even thought I had, but obviously not, since there it is coming out of my mouth. He hurt me deeply and I’ll not allow him to just pretend it didn’t happen. Do you know he’s never even apologized for leaving me to marry Hamlin when I practically begged him to help me?”

She shook her head as tears pooled in her eyes. “No. I did beg him. And still he refused to help me.”

She wiped the moisture away.

Gray’s face went pale, but he didn’t respond. Celia went on, unable to stop her confession now that the first truth had escaped.

“I understand why he rejected me. I really do. He was so young. He didn’t want to settle down with a wife at that age, but I needed him and I thought… I thought he would be there for me. And now the times he’s proposed I can’t help but think of how he wouldn’t marry me back then. I’m sure you think it’s spiteful, and maybe it is, but how can I trust him to be there when I need him when he wasn’t there when I needed him most? I can’t help but be angry at him, Gray. I don’t want to be, but I am.”

Gray swallowed and paced the room for a moment. He sat on the edge of his seat and stared at nothing before finally speaking in a low voice. “He didn’t know.”

“Pardon?” Celia barely heard him.

He moved to sit next to her and took her hands in his. “It is all my fault, Celia.”

“What is? I don’t understand.” She hadn’t seen him look this grim since their father had been alive. Whatever was amiss, it was something quite serious.

“I didn’t know this still caused you pain. I was happy to brush it aside, even if the guilt has nearly killed me over the years. You and Kit were friends, I assumed you had forgiven him. Even if he was never the one at fault.”

“What are you saying?”

“That night you sent me to see Kit. You gave me the letter to take to him.”

She nodded. “Yes. In it I promised to be a perfect wife. But he still rejected my offer.”

Gray shook his head. “I left your room with the letter and Father stopped me. He…” Gray hung his head in his hands, completely shattered.

Celia knew she wasn’t going to be happy with the outcome of this story, but she couldn’t stop herself from comforting her brother when he looked so stricken. She was an older sister after all.

“Father knew we were trying to come up with a way to get you out of the marriage to Hamlin. He stopped me. At the time, I didn’t think there was anything he could say to sway my plan to go to Kit and ask him to marry you, but…”

“What happened.”

“He threatened the woman I loved.”

“Who?”

“It doesn’t matter. It had been an affair years before, but Father knew I still cared for her deeply. He owed someone a large sum of money and you were his only way to get it. He was desperate, and he threatened to have her killed if I didn’t step aside and allow you to marry Hamlin. You must understand, I would have done anything to spare you, but I couldn’t… not that. I’m so sorry, Celia. I went to see Kit, but I didn’t give him the letter and I didn’t ask him to marry you. I told him that Father had arranged a marriage for you.”

Celia could only sit there stunned. Kit had never read her letter. He’d never known she had begged for his help.

“CeCe…” He shook his head. “You need to know. It didn’t matter that Kit didn’t read your letter. Without me mentioning it, he offered for you. He asked me to help sneak you out of the house so he could run away with you to Scotland to be married. As you said, he was very young, but he didn’t hesitate to protect you with his name.”

Celia gasped in surprise and tears welled up in her eyes. “He wanted me?”

“Of course, he wanted you. He still wants you. He was devastated when I met him later that night and told him you were to marry Hamlin.”

“You lied to both of us.” Her hands tightened into fists. This was not something a twist of the ear would resolve. Graham deserved a sound thrashing.

“I did. I’m sorry—I am. But you must understand. While I knew the woman would never be mine because she was already married to another; I’d heard she was a mother and I couldn’t risk her life. Father assured me you would outlive Hamlin and that he was not a violent or cruel man. I had to make an impossible decision.”

Celia wanted to be angry at Graham, but it was her father she truly despised. Since it was a waste of time to rage at a dead man, she took a few deep breaths, allowing the anger to seep away, leaving her lighter than she’d been in years.

Kit had wanted to marry her back then. He had wanted to be her hero and save her from her father’s machinations.

And all this time, she thought he didn’t want her.