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“Which friend? Kennedy?”
“Of course. Do I have any other friends?” My tone is sarcastic.
Sam notices my irritation immediately and frowns, shaking his head. “Don’t beat yourself up over a guy. There are plenty of fish in the sea.”
“You know, Sam, I really hate that saying. It’s probably the dumbest thing I ever heard. Whoever came up with that had no idea what they were talking about, that much is obvious. While there may be more than enough men to go around, you have to account for the number that is married,” I say, counting each one off on my fingers, “gay, already in a relationship, borderline insane, basement dwellers, unemployed, or in prison. You get the point I am trying to make here, don’t you? If you round up the number of men that are not a complete disaster or unavailable, I’m sure you are left with only a handful of fish. And I’d be willing to bet I’d still want to throw their asses back into the sea.”
He laughs and pulls out a chair for me to sit, before taking his place behind his desk. “You have such a way with words, Sydney.”
“Well, I should. After all, I am a writer.”
“I didn’t mean it as a compliment.” He flashes a wicked grin that makes me want to slap the look off his face.
“Not you, too, Sam. I’m not in the mood for anymore nonsense today. My bullshit meter is full and on overload. Why don’t we forget about Carter and my love life and get down to business.”
He folds his hand on the desk in front of him. “Okay. You called this meeting so let’s hear it. What’s your new book idea?”
“Have you ever seen the movie How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days?”
“Yes,” he nods, “once or twice with my ex-girlfriend. It’s the one where she tricks the man into breaking up with her, all while he’s supposed to get her to fall in love with him. Right?”
“Yup. That’s the one. The game I was playing with Carter got me thinking. I did all of this crazy shit to see how far I could push him, only to lose him, just like Kate Hudson in the movie. But and this is a big but…she got him back in the end.”
He leans forward, hanging onto every word and genuinely interested in my story. “So far, I like where this is headed. Tell me more.”
“Okay.” I suck in a deep breath as I try to figure out the rest of the concept. “I guess losing him was part of my plan. I just didn’t realize it until after he stopped talking to me.”
I hadn’t fleshed everything out before I decided to get in my car and drive to New York City. Not the brightest of plans. Luckily, Sam had an opening in his calendar.
I had a three-hour drive with traffic. You would think that would have given me enough time to sort this out before I got here. Instead, I’m staring at Sam, speechless for once, which is such an odd thing for me.
When do I ever have a loss for words? Words are my weapons of choice. Without them, how would I convey my feelings to the world?
“Here’s the thing. I thought I would be the exception and that Carter would hang around to find out if we could make our relationship work. But I was wrong about him. We never even ended things. He just disappeared.”
“Th
at’s such a guy thing to do,” he says, shaking his head. “We all do it.”
“Because you’re cowards,” I spit back. “Because you don’t have the balls to sack up and tell the girl why you don’t want to be with her anymore.” My anger pulses through my veins, commanding control over my body. I’m taking my frustration out on the wrong man.
“I’m sorry, Sam.” I sit back in my chair, trying to compose myself and hold up my index finger. “Just give me a moment. I don’t know what has come over me. Carter has gotten so far under my skin he makes me crazy.”
I am like a feral animal let loose around ordinary people. When I’m like this, someone should stay with me to keep me from doing stupid things. Like, taking out my issues with Carter on Sam. I even flipped out on Kennedy the other day for spending too much time with Tyler as if I have the right to tell her what to do.
“No worries. Take as much time as you need.” Sam shuffles some of the papers around on his desk, pretending to be busy. He’s not.
Now, that is a typical man response. Even the nice ones are no different from the bad boys like Carter. They all use the same tactics with women just adapt to a different playbook.
For the first time since I signed with Sam, I have nothing to say at a pitch meeting. I always come into his office prepared and ready for action. Today, I’m unorganized and aloof—two traits that do not describe Sydney Carroway. My father would have a stroke if he could see me now. He equates business meetings to battle, tells me how I can control the room like a general commanding his army.
Before Carter fucked with my head, I could honestly say that was true. I would be in Sam’s office like a pit bull on a pork chop, sinking my teeth into the next book and laying down the framework for the story. Except, my original plan had gone to shit the minute Carter stopped wanting me. Too bad I hadn’t realized it until now.
How do I write a book about how to keep a man around when I lost him before our relationship had a chance to progress?
My characters are always so strong and confident, full of tenacity and spunk. Over the last few days, my mind has been too preoccupied with Carter to write the story I want to share. All the women have been weak and pathetic since Carter stopped talking to me, an accurate reflection of how I feel on the inside. I never thought my characters would become so sad and desperate, which is exactly how I feel right now.
“I need to get him back,” I tell him. “I miss him and our games.”
