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Why am I so damn nervous?
We’re just hanging out with a bunch of gamers, testing out the demo version of his first-person shooter. This should be easy for me. Instead, my heart is pounding out of my chest, causing my head to spin.
When was the last time I went on a date? This isn’t a date, I remind myself, trying to hold it together. It’s just a bunch of people nerding out together. At least I will have other people around, acting as a buffer to calm my nerves.
Jamie opens the door, all man, and all smiles. With the corners of his mouth turned up, a crease in his left cheek pops out. I never noticed that cute dimple before. It’s really fucking adorable, making me want to squeeze his cheeks. He’s not what you’d think when you hear what he does for a living. Not even close. Jamie has the build of an athlete, the face of a model, and from what I have heard, the mind of a scholar. It’s like hitting the trifecta.
“You showed up,” Jamie says, holding the door open wide enough for me to pass. “I’m glad you could make it.”
For a second, my eyes travel from his face to his muscular arms and shoulders that protrude from a gray Henley and the jeans that hang low on his narrow waist. Jameson O’ Connor is not your average computer nerd. Not by a long shot.
“It’s not every day you get to test a video game before
it hits stores. I’m just glad I can help.” I shrug my jacket off and lay it over my arm, as he guides me into the apartment.
With an open floor plan, high ceilings, and plenty of light, Jamie has an incredible place. The kitchen overlooks the living room and has a nice view of the city from the floor to ceiling windows that span a large portion of the apartment. Most of the condominiums in the city are on the small side, overpriced, and in bad neighborhoods. But Jamie really lucked out with this one.
Jamie leads me into the living room, where he has the gaming console setup along with remote controls, headsets, a laptop, and other gaming equipment. He plops down on the huge sectional couch and pats the seat next to him, motioning me to sit with an impish grin. Why does he have to be so handsome?
My hands are sweating from how nervous I am. And he hasn’t mentioned my dad once since we met. That’s what makes him so much more appealing.
I do as he instructs without a word and set my jacket and purse down next to me. “I guess I’m the first one here. You said eight o’clock, right?”
I thought I was going to be late.
He leans forward and lifts the remote from the oversized coffee table. “You’re the only one who’s coming tonight,” he says, clicking the buttons on the remote to turn on the huge flat screen hung on the wall in front of us. “Ben was going to come over and help us out, but his wife was having a fit about him missing another night with the kids. I told him we could handle it.”
“But I thought you have a team of people,” I mutter, doing my best to hold back the bile rising up from my throat.
“I do, but most of them worked all day and night. If I work them too hard, they will be useless to me. You can only do so much before you get burnt out.”
“What about you?” I ask, curious, settling into the cushion.
“What about me?” He props his elbow up onto the arm of the couch and glances at me. “I’m the creator of the game and in charge of the project. I have to keep at it until it’s perfect. I don’t get time off.”
“Oh, I guess I can relate to that. I work so much at the Wells Fargo Center that even when I’m supposed to be off, I end up going into the building or working from home.”
“Same here,” he admits, searching for the correct input on the TV. “I’m always on a deadline. Ever since my last promotion, my boss relies on me more than normal. And the company that hired us has been crawling up our asses about delivering the product ahead of schedule.”
“Can’t you tell them no? I’m sure your contract has a specific date on it.”
He shakes his head. “I wish it were that simple. They have a big tech conference they recently added to their calendar, and they want to show off the product. The game doesn’t even have a name yet. It’s nowhere near ready for the public. I was supposed to have one year. Now, I have three months.”
“Maybe it’s because you’re writing code for a game you haven’t given a name. You could be feeling…uninspired.”
He laughs. “That’s not a bad idea. But I hate to give any of the games a name because then I feel too attached to them, and when we hand them over to the client, it’s as if they’re stealing my game. At least when I do it this way, I don’t have any form of connection. I can just finish the testing and send the game to the customer to box up and market to their customers.”
I dig my left elbow into the couch cushion to support myself, holding his gaze. “That’s kind of sad in a way. Don’t you think?”
He looks away for a few seconds before he speaks, his tone softening. “The first game I ever designed was like Game of Thrones meets Call of Duty on crack. I was obsessed with the tech and played it for hours on end. I created The Fallen while I was still in college and sold a similar version of it to a developer. I made a huge mistake, though. They ended up renaming the game and selling millions of copies. All I’d gotten in return was enough money to put a down payment on this apartment. I could’ve bought the entire building with how much money they made on my game.”
My heart hurts for Jamie. I couldn’t even imagine working so hard on something, only to give it away for a company to turn a profit. “That’s awful.”
“It’s business,” he says, firmly. “I didn’t know any better back then. I did the same thing all the guys do when an investor from Silicon Valley offers them the chance to make some money. But when you have no idea the value of your product, it’s hard to put a number on your work. I was a kid, grew up on the wrong side of the tracks, and to me, what they’d given me was a ton of money.”
“It’s a shame. You must have been so bummed once you saw how many copies they sold of your game.”
“I was upset about it for a while until I got an offer from my company to come work for them. I turned them down at least ten times before I finally accepted. Charlie yelled at me for a week. She said I’d be an idiot not to take the job after what I’d just went through with the other company.”
