Page 181 of The New Place

“He had work.”

“Right. Hence Beverly coming to take care of you? He told me he wants you to be happy.”

“Did he,” Abbot says flatly.

“I think—I don’t know, but I think he probably feels like shit about that now. Being gone for work, and how it all happened with your mom and you.”

“It was his choice,” Abbot says in that same cool voice.

“Feeling powerless is really hard to sit with.”

Abbot just blinks, his jaw set.

“You two aren’t so different, you know. Two peas in a pod, you and your dad. Both of you are beating yourselves up that you didn’t do better back then, that you didn’t get things right, on some definition of ‘right’ that only you know and hold yourself to. Abbot, you were a kid.”

“I wasn’t. I was at university, I—I spent a lot of time with men who didn’t particularly care about me,” Abbot says softly. “Instead of being there with her.”

“I don’t think your dad could handle it either,” Ned says. “Which isn’t an excuse, but it’s maybe something to think about.”

Abbot picks at the tip of his index finger with his thumb.

“Beverly really cares about you,” Ned says gently. “She came all that way for you.”

Abbot blows out a breath. “I know.”

“I get it. She was your mom’s best friend? Why do you think I’m so excited for Pat’s baby? It’s going to be my new favorite person on this planet. I’d do anything for that kid and it’s not even born yet. You don’t have to go zero to sixty with Beverly, or dive into a bunch of hard topics. We could get to know her, as adults and colleagues. Have her and Sandy over for dinner.”

Abbot licks his lips. “Where?”

“Yeah,” Ned says. “Um, a house? With a kitchen?”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m scared,” Ned says and isn’t that the honest, naked truth.

“I’ve chased a lot of men who weren’t interested in me,” Abbot says. “When you said you can’t or won’t live together—Ned, I’ve been here before. Wanting to move forward and it turns out I’m the only one who wants that.”

“No, no, no,” Ned says quickly. “But you get where I’m coming from, right? Living together means you knowing I’m good for maybe the cell phone bill.”

“A shared cell phone bill?” Abbot asks. “I wasn’t aware we were at the stage of combining into a family plan.”

Ned huffs a soft laugh and that feels better, this conversation taking a lighter turn.

“You really do want to live together?” Abbot asks.

“Yeah,” Ned says.

“And kids?”

Ned lets out a breath. “We’re going to stay together? Forever?”

“That’s certainly my intention.”

“Well, then yeah. If you’re in this, and I’m in this, let’s have kids. A bunch of them.”

“Nine might be excessive, if you’re aiming for a baseball team.”

“Well, we’d need a bigger house, for sure. I do like Steve’s. But we can keep looking, if you want. Get the inspection report, at least, so you know what you’re buying.” Ned pauses. Swallows. “We’re buying. And it has that whole other unit, which we’d have to deal with.”