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“I do. But…”
Not like this.
She leans back against the headboard and crosses her arms over her chest. “But, what?”
“I’m afraid of what will happen after we have sex. It could ruin our friendship forever.”
“We kissed and nothing changed.”
“Are you kidding me?” Something snaps inside me. “Everything has changed!”
“Yeah,” she mutters, looking away from me. “I guess it has.”
Why did I let her touch me?
Because I want her.
I need her.
Kat rolls onto her side, her back facing me. Unlike last time, this isn’t an invitation to cuddle with her. Knowing I need to be here for my mom in the morning, I don’t bother to head back to my hotel. So, I follow her lead. Neither of us speaks a word, and I eventually drift off to sleep.
Chapter Eight
Dean
Ever since our fight, Kat avoids me like I have a disease. What’s one kiss between friends, she’d said before she shoved her tongue in my mouth. Yeah, right. That was more than a kiss to both us. She damn well knows it. That’s why she won’t talk to me.
I was always the one who was more invested in our relationship. The one who was ridiculously in love. Now, she’s acting like a girl who had her heart broken. But I’m the one with the broken heart.
At first, Kat stopped meeting me at Broad Street Beans for coffee before class. Then, she had excuses for why she couldn’t come to the SAC to play air hockey. I’m only giving her space. This is not permanent. I won’t allow Kat to walk away from me.
Sex always complicates things, which is why I’m picky when it comes to women. Kat knows that. She knows everything about me. I wouldn’t have kissed her if I thought it would ruin our friendship and any shot of us ever being together. Now, I don’t know what to do. I need her back in my life.
I walk past the library like a stalker, hoping to see Kat on my way to the SAC. My teammates are playing air hockey in the game room. Kat’s usually on my team when we play. But she’s been MIA, refusing to hangout. She has a class across the street from the library, on the second floor of the business hall. Even if she’s mad at me, she won’t turn me away in person.
I know her schedule so well that when I near the doors of the hall, I spot Kat walking out with Silvia. They’re both studying Sports Communication, hoping to one day become announcers or even reporters for a major news outlet. With Kat’s connections, she was able to score an internship for both of them at a sports news publication in Chicago called The Locker Room.
I bring my fingers to my lips and whistle to get her attention. Kat pushes her long, blonde hair behind her ears and then holds her hand up to her forehead to block the sun from her eyes. She gives me a tiny wave that I return, deflated by her reaction.
“What the fuck is her problem?” I mutter and then cross the street to close the distance between us. “I’m on my way to the SAC to play air hockey with the guys. Come with me. I need a partner.”
She looks away from me, a frown on her lips as she glances over at Silvia, looking to her for an excuse. Silvia doesn’t give her one, her expression stoic, unreadable.
“I have to study,” Kat says after a long, awkward pause. “My la
st exam is tomorrow.”
“Please.” I’m not above begging at this point. “Just give me an hour. We graduate on Saturday. We don’t have much time left.”
Kat peeks up at me from beneath light brows, her blue eyes burning a hole through me. Why did I have to fuck things up? Why did I kiss her? Not giving in to my desires and her curiosity could have made all the difference. And now, I have no idea where we stand.
Our experiment backfired. All of my feelings that were always there have multiplied. My chest aches from the sadness in her eyes. She regrets what we did. I already knew that when she started distancing herself from me. What’s changed for her? For me, it’s everything. Because now I know what it’s like hold her in my arms and kiss her. I want it all with her. I always did. And now, she wants nothing from me.
I grab her elbow, and she looks up at me. “Can we talk?”
She sucks in a deep breath and lets it out. “I have to study.”
“Kitten, c’mon.” I tighten my grip because I’m afraid that if I let go I will lose her forever. “Please don’t do this to me.”
