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Chapter Nineteen
Kat
With Silvia at my side, I walk down the long hallway toward the doctor’s office, sick to my stomach. Ever since I let the nurse draw my blood, I’ve been throwing up like I have a major illness. The home pregnancy tests are right. I know they are, even without the doctor confirming the results. But I have to know for sure.
The closer we get to the main entrance I can’t breathe. “What if it’s positive?” I say under my breath.
“Then, you have a lot of things to figure out,” Silvia says. “But at least you won’t be alone. I’ll be here for you every step of the way. So will your family and Dean.”
“Dean,” I whisper. “How am I going to tell him? This is going to ruin his life. I ruined his life!”
Silvia grabs my shoulder and moves me out of the way of the people behind us. “You didn’t ruin anything, babe.” She lowers her voice and continues, “This is not the end of the world. And must I remind you that Dean was there, too. If he was so worried about getting you pregnant, he would have pulled out.”
“I’m an idiot.” I shake my head, disappointed with myself. “I waited until I was twenty-two to have sex, and I get knocked up by the guy who takes my virginity. How dumb can I possibly be?”
“C’mon, babe, we’ve talked about this already. You’re not dumb just inexperienced. Dean should have known better. He does have experience.”
“He probably thought I was still on the pill to regulate my periods.”
She laughs. “You actually told him about your periods?”
“Yeah, I tell Dean everything. The pills were working great until I started getting migraines from them.”
“He knows you as well as I do,” Silvia points out. “Dean didn’t forget about the pills. He just didn’t care or think or whatever it is that happened that day. Either way, you need to get your shit together and stop blaming yourself. You didn’t make a baby alone, and you know Dean will be there to support you.”
“His captain keeps giving him shit. I know the older guys are trying to get in his head to see if he has what it takes to play with them, but I can’t help feeling like I messed everything up. He’s still adjusting to his new life. I don’t want to screw up his game because of this. Dean has to focus. He doesn’t need this distraction.”
“Kat, stop it. You’re not a distraction to him. Dean loves you. I’ve never seen a man more in love with a woman. He would do anything for you.”
“That’s the problem. I don’t want him to give up anything for me. I want him to have everything he dreamed of since he was a boy. He didn’t grow up like us. The NHL is the opportunity of a lifetime for him. I love him too much to allow him to throw it all away.”
“Why on earth would you think he would do that?”
I roll my shoulders. “I don’t know. I just do.”
She slides her arm across the back of my neck and hugs me. “You’re overreacting, babe. Stop talking like this. Everything will work out with you and Dean. He won’t ruin his career or his life. If anything, I think it will make his life better.”
“How? I have a job in Chicago, and Dean lives in Philly.”
“You hate your internship.”
“More than anything,” I admit.
“Then, I don’t see what’s stopping you from living with Dean.”
I sigh, unable to meet her gaze. “I don’t want to be like my mom.”
“Seriously, you have to chill out.” Silvia grabs my shoulders and shakes me. “You’re not your mom. You don’t have to give up anything, okay? Not unless you want to. If moving to Philly to be with Dean will make you happy, then march into the office tomorrow and quit.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Yes, it is.”
Annoyed, I sigh. “You don’t understand.”
“Yes, I do,” she snaps. “My dad wasn’t around much when I was a kid either. You need to get over that. Dean will be there for you and the baby if you let him. So, let him be there.”
I nod at the open door at the end of the hall. “Can we just get this over with?”
