Page 56 of Whispered Promises

Handing the ice pack over to Steph, my eyes take a second too long to adjust. I need to leave for the farm soon, and the idea is making my body revolt. Moving, peopling, and going outside are not things I want to do today.

Is the world tilting? It feels like it is.

“Did you roofie me?” she asks, a slight whimper slipping out.

Thinking back, she did have a couple more shots than I did. One of the bar staff had given us a slider of them, saying they’d been bought for us by someone. Initially, I’d refused to have one because…shots, and also it felt weird. But Steph had assured me we should drink them, since they were handed to us by someone who worked there and were free. So I’d begrudgingly had one, and she’d downed the remaining three.

I think we’re both regretting it now.

“If I did, then I messed up and roofied myself. I’ve taken something for the headache; it should kick in soon. Did you want some?” I ask, slowly sliding my butt to the edge of the sofa to push myself up, bracing for the onslaught of pain that will hit at the movement. It digs into the sides of my head, but a little more muted now.

“Yes, please,” she whispers, eyes closed, the ice pack covering her forehead. Gingerly, I get her a glass of water, popping out a couple of the tablets and handing them over to her.

“Do you need anything else? I need to finish getting ready, as Max will be here soon.”

Having him see me like this is not what I had on the agenda today. I’m hoping the copious amounts of water I’ve drunk so far, and the pain relief, will make human-ing slightly more bearable.

Although now the hangover is ebbing, and I’m no longer brain fogged, the anxiety from yesterday's encounter with Bry is seeping back in. A lot of the conversation over drinks last night had been whether I should message Nate and confess or not. Steph’s argument was that nothing happened, so there’s nothing to confess…but I’d wanted it to happen, which feels the same.

Because there’s still intention, so isn’t that the same?

She’d confiscated my phone in the end, and now it’s sitting there on the kitchen counter, taunting me. I’ve not seen it since she removed it from me, so I don’t even know if Bry told him anything.

There could be a message on there ending everything.

If I don’t look at it, then I can remain ignorant.

But what if something happened, and they needed me? What if not having my phone made something happen and now it’s all my fault?

Blowing out a long breath, I push my shoulders back and pick it up. Unlocking it, I see a couple of message notifications and click to open them before I can talk myself out of it.

Nate

Hope you’re having a good evening with Steph. Miss you. Message me when you’re home.

My shoulders ease slightly; he’s not breaking up with me. Until I see the next message, and some of the tension returns.

GymAlpha

Where was my message, little tease? Knocked to check. Steph answered, said you’d gone to bed. Make sure to hydrate. Sweet dreams.

Getting home is…fuzzy now that I think about it. I don’t recall much of the end of the evening. Turning, I go to ask Steph what she remembers, but she’s fallen asleep, her mouth lax as she snores faintly.

Knowing Nate needs me to check in, I drop him a quick response to assure him I’m okay, if a bit fragile, and check the other messages.

Noah

Heard you had a good night. I’ve given Maxi an electrolyte drink to bring for you. It should help if you're feeling any effects this morning.

Bry

Good morning, angel. Maxi has some sweet snacks for you, just letting you know so he doesn’t try to eat them all. There’s enough for you both; so make sure he shares.

An unfamiliar emotion I can’t place fills my throat. How are they all so nice and thoughtful? I’m so used to looking after myself, it’s hard to know what to do with their offerings of care and support. I’m also hesitant to get used to it too, as they won't all always be here.

One day I’ll be back to just having myself. That’s how life always works.

I pause at the last unread message, knowing that whatever it contains will have anxiety unfurling within me. It doesn’t matter how many times I try to block the number, another one pops up. It’s always the same person though. The messages all sound and feel the same. My hands are stiff as I open the message.