Page 54 of All The Ways to Miss You

I hurry up the stoop, past Evan’s door, and climb to the sixth floor. In my apartment, I drop my bag on the counter and go to work. I don’t even bother closing the door. This should only take a few minutes.

After the email has been sent, there’s a knock at my open door. I cringe before I look up.

“Find everything?” James steps inside with his hands in his pockets.

“How did you know which apartment?” I shut the laptop.

“I’m psychic.” James taps his head and enters, shutting the door behind him.

“Right, the mailboxes.” I slide a printed copy of the floor plans into an envelope and hand it to James. He accepts it, and as his gaze drifts away, he fumbles with the envelope.

“Cait, now that this is somewhat settled, would you have any interest in joining me for dinner?” The overly confident James is gone. He’s now hesitant and bashful. Multiple rejections can do that to a person.

This isn’t how I imagined letting him down. My gaze flits around the room as I adjust my stance. I’m buying myself time to compose a proper response, one that won’t hurt his feelings. I do like him. He’s a good guy. It’s me who’s all wrong for him.

Before I can answer, there’s another knock at the door. My head swings toward it, but I remain still, hoping whoever’s there will go away. But when they knock again, a knot of tension forms at the base of my skull.

“Can I get that?” James asks with a raised brow.

“Yes, I mean, no. I’ll get it.” I attempt a smile but end up gritting my teeth.

My heels click the wood floor as I cross the room. If I move slowly enough, maybe whoever it is will leave before I arrive. I suck in a deep breath and open the door.

As expected, Evan stands on the other side. One arm is raised above his head, his elbow leaning into the door frame. His body language implies he wasn’t sure if I would answer, or worse, that he’d given up on me answering.

He glances up from beneath his thick fringe of lashes, appearing tired. His eyelids droop, and a faint half moon of purplish skin sits beneath each eye. I want to ask him if he’s okay, but I need to keep this short. James is here.

“What’s up?” I keep it casual, friendly.

Evan rakes his gaze over me like he has so many times before, but this time is different. It’s not sexual. He’s assessing me and pleading with his eyes.

Does he want me to say something? I can’t read him, but I wish I could. I catch myself before I become too engaged. I cross my arms over my chest, holding myself back. I need to lock my emotions down. We’re nothing and never will be.

“You’ve been ignoring me.” Evan steps forward, but I inch the door closed to stop him. He halts in surprise.

“This isn’t a good time.” I speak through the narrowed crack, the space big enough to fit the width of my body.

“There will never be a good time.”

He steps toward me, crowding me, and I instinctively step back. If I were ready for it, I could have held my ground, but I hesitate and then he’s inside. I press a hand to his chest, preventing him from coming any further. My face is a steely mask.

“I promise I’ll find you later, okay?” I want to appeal to him, but this is what I get for brushing him off for days, weeks.

“Everything okay?” James approaches and takes a protective stance behind me, an imposing figure.

It seems Evan’s only now seeing him. His eyes widen.

Uneasy, I step aside so Evan and James are facing each other. “James, this is Evan, my landlord. Evan, James. My client from Lakeman, Shire and Black.”

My introductions are curt. I want to make it clear I don’t intend for either to interact past this moment. If I were still playing a game with Evan, I would have called James my date. James would have delighted in it, but now there’s no need to let Evan believe otherwise. Besides, I need to send him a message. Be on your best behavior.

Despite my explanation, a spark of jealousy flickers in Evan’s eyes. I recall the same pained expression when he met Lou. Though it shouldn’t matter at this point, there’s still something inside me that aches because I did that to him. I made Evan jealous for no reason. I don’t want to hurt him. I just want him to go away.

James reaches out to shake Evan’s hand. When their grasps connect, their knuckles whiten. Their gazes lock, and silent territorial warnings seem to pulse between them. I clear my throat and cross my arms at the rising tension. At the sound of my annoyance, their grips release.

“I also came looking for a hammer Gusterson left.” Evan’s gaze scours the room. This is an outright lie. In the messages he left, he never once mentioned a missing hammer, but I play along to get rid of him.

“Feel free to check.” I gesture down the hall.