Page 79 of Deck the Hauls

“I told her we had to break up, that I couldn’t be with someone who was attracted to my brother. I was so hurt, I told her they deserved each other. And when Jake waylaid me as I was leaving, I told him the same thing. I stayed with a friend that night and then found an Airbnb in Poughkeepsie for a week while I worked out what to do. I needed to get away, so when I saw an ad for a job at Red Tractor Farm, with accommodation included, I jumped at it.”

Emily rested her arm on her knees. “And so what ended up happening with Kelsey and Jake? Did they get together?”

“Not immediately. But eight months later, Jake called me and asked if it would be okay if they dated. I told him I didn’t care, that they could do whatever they wanted, and they did. Two years later, they’re still together.”

The blue-and-white ferry disappeared under the Manhattan Bridge.

“That’s so rough. How are you feeling about it all now?” Emily asked.

“I know, rationally, I should just move on. They didn’t actually cheat on me, I broke up with Kelsey and when Jake asked if they could date, I said it was fine. But the hurt is still there. Until earlier this month, I hadn’t seen either of them since it happened. It’s not like I’m still hung up on her, but… I don’t even like to visit my parents’ house when Jake and Kelsey aren’t there because of all the memories, all the photos of Jake and me, and Bowie.” My voice cracked.

Perhaps I should have said “no”, told Jake they couldn’t date. But now, after my experience with Emily, I had more sympathy for them. It was really hard, pining for someone you knew you couldn’t have. And they’d done the right thing in telling me, asking me for my blessing… Perhaps describing it as a betrayal wasn’t completely accurate. But that was how it had felt at the time.

Emily placed her hand on my leg. Our eyes locked for a moment, and then Emily cleared her throat and took her hand away.

“I’m sorry. It’s no wonder you ended up disliking Christmas so much. I understand why you wouldn’t want to go home for it.”

“Yeah.” I sighed. “But it’s not fair on Mom and Dad. They’ve been understanding about the whole thing, but they’re having their fortieth wedding anniversary in February and really want me to be there. Jake actually came to see me recently. He apologized again and asked if we could make an effort for Mom and Dad. He also told me that he and Kelsey are expecting a baby, which was a bit of a shock. I’d always wanted kids, but Kelsey hadn’t been interested. Coming to terms with the fact that we wouldn’t have kids together had been tough.”

Emily bit her lip. “That must have been difficult, especially if that had been a big deal for you.”

“Yeah. I guess Kelsey changed her mind, which is fine, of course. But it had been such a source of stress for me during our relationship, so I think it reopened old wounds., especially because I’m…” I slammed my mouth shut. Sad and alone? “Anyway, I am happy for them, but it’s been a lot to process.”

“I’m so sorry you’ve been through all of this—that you’re still going through it.”

“I know I should just get over it and go back for Christmas. Spending time with your family yesterday reminded me what I’m missing out on. But” —my voice cracked again— “I don’t know if I can do it. The thought of seeing Jake and Kelsey together…” I stared over the East River, watching a red-tailed hawk soar between the bridges.

Emily shifted closer to me. “Would it... Would it help if I came with you?”

My brow shot up. “But Christmas is your favorite holiday. Surely you’d want to spend it with your own family?”

Emily’s thumb fiddled with the lid of her coffee cup. “Well...you came to my Thanksgiving. I’m more than happy to return the favor.”

Emily was willing to give up her family Christmas to be there for me?

“Yeah, but I didn’t come to your Thanksgiving to help you. It was solely so I had some delicious food before I drove back to Sapphire Springs.”

“The only reason you were in Brooklyn to begin with was to get me to Thanksgiving on time. I wouldn’t have made it without you. Anyway, think about it, but if it would help things, I’d love to come.”

Was I really ready to go back home for Christmas? Having Emily there for support would certainly make facing Jake and Kelsey less daunting, but would it make things between Emily and me more challenging? The more time we spent together, surely the harder it would be to stay just friends.

“Can I think about it and let you know?” I asked.

“Of course,” Emily said. Then she took my hand and squeezed. “Whatever you need.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

EMILY

“I know the snowstorm wasn’t ideal, but the trees look gorgeous like this,” I said, looking around at the snow-covered winter wonderland that was the tree farm. “Like a scene from Narnia. I’m almost expecting Mr. Tumnus to appear at any moment.”

Dana chuckled. “Now you’ve got me craving Turkish delight.”

I grinned. “I’m happy to make an emergency trip into town and get some for you.”

Dana sighed. “We should finish checking for damage first.”

“The snow makes it hard to spot,” I noted, staring at an impressive fir, each branch balancing an inch of snow on top.