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I hate that I have been lying to him and everyone else about my fake gluten allergy. I even had our chef start cooking me meals without gluten, all while I sneak snacks with a load of carbs up to my bedroom.
It was the best thing I could come up with after Becca had mentioned it to me. Back then, I thought there was a possibility I had the allergy, only to find out my condition is just as permanent. Now, I’m stuck lying to the people I love because I’m too much of a coward to tell them the truth. My dad even donated money to the Celiac Disease Foundation, which made me feel even worse for lying. At least my lies could help the organization find a cure.
Still, I should come clean, especially while Dean is here. But maybe that would be an even worse idea. What would Duke do to Dean if he found out this way? I don’t even want to think about it. Plus, it would ruin Dean’s trip. The only vacations he ever had were the ones where I paid to fly him to my house. He needs this break from normal life as much as I need him here for selfish reasons.
“Yeah, why? You wanna try some of my food,” I joke, nudging Dean in the arm with my elbow. “It’s yummy.”
“I was never a big carb eater like you,” he says. “But I thought you were supposed to get better after you stopped eating junk food.”
I shrug. My guilt causes the bile to creep up from stomach, choking me. “I guess it takes time to work its way out of my system.”
“I worry about you, Kitten. You always put everyone else before yourself.”
I rub my hand on his thigh. “I’m fine.”
He glances down at my hand, and I swear he sucks in a deep breath. Our proximity has me all too aware of the reaction I have on Dean and the one he has over me. Dean pins me down with his intense gaze. This time, I am the one holding my breath.
No matter how hard I try to shake this feeling in the pit of my stomach, I fail. After we ventured into uncharted waters, my best friend will always have this effect on me. We will never be the same. And our child changes everything. If only I could get up the courage to tell him.
Chapter 17
One week after the NHL Draft
Dean
After a grueling summer, I needed this week off from life to hang out with Kat and her brothers. But tomorrow my vacation is over. Our lives will change dramatically in the next few months. I’d hoped for the Draft to bring me to Chicago so that I could be closer to Kat, but we have either bad luck or shitty timing. Maybe a little of both.
Staring up at the ceiling of the guest room, I lay flat on my back and think of Kat. We spent most of our time with the twins this week, with hardly any alone time to ourselves. I have to sneak out of my bedroom to see Kat. With the twins in the bedrooms next to me, I haven’t gotten far.
Two nights ago, I attempted to see Kat, only to run into Theo at the hall bathroom. Every night before that, there was something that kept us from being together. But not tonight. I have all of six hours before I get on a plane, and I refuse to spend them without Kat.
I check the clock on the bedside table and hope the twins are sleeping. Just because I haven’t heard a sound in over an hour doesn’t mean a thing when it comes to the twins. Theo drank enough beer to knock two grown men on their asses. Tucker went along with him. Kat wasn’t drinking again, so I followed her lead and drank soda. I’d rather we both be sober for the few hours we have left together.
The door creaks when I open it, forcing me to wait a few seconds before I step into the dark hallway. For once, the house is quiet. I shut the door behind me, walking on my tippy toes toward Kat’s room, keeping my fingers crossed that no one wakes up. Her dad and older brothers have rooms on the floor above us, which makes this easier, but Tucker and Theo are light sleepers. Even the slightest creak could bring them into the hallway.
Luck must be on our side for once becau
se I make it to Kat’s room without anyone noticing. I turn the knob and push my way into the room, locking the door behind me.
Kat flicks on the lamp next to her bed, the soft light illuminating her face. She rubs her eye with the back of her hand.
“Were you sleeping?” I whisper and come toward her.
“No, I tried, but I all I did was toss and turn.” She pats the space on the mattress next to her. “Get in here and snuggle with me. Maybe I’ll get some sleep with you next to me.”
I crawl in beside Kat and roll onto my side, staring down at her, as I slide my arm under her head. “I have to tell you something before I leave.”
“Me, too,” she says under her breath. “You go first.”
I dip down, so that my breath touches her lips, and say, “I love you, Kitten. I just wanted you to know that.”
“I love you, too, Dean.” She reaches up to touch my face with her hand.
“I mean I love you as more than a friend. I want to make this work between us.”
“Oh.” She tilts her head to the side and bites her lip. “We had this conversation months ago. I don’t see how we can do that with you living in Philly and me in Chicago.”
I slide my hand across her stomach and onto her hip, forcing her to look at me. “We can make it work, we always have.”
