Page 92 of Broken Vows

She’s going to leave. Please, please, don’t leave. “I know, I know, but there’s so much more—”

“You ruined my fucking life! Do you know that? I was going to be a psychologist. A doctor. I don’t come from money like you do. When I got expelled, they stripped my scholarship, and I couldn’t go to school.”

Oh God, no, I mean, yes, but that’s not… shit, shit. “Wait, no, I mean, you got kicked out from this school, but you could’ve gone to a different one. I just thought you’d go to NYU or something. Why didn’t you transfer? With your grades and—”

“How fucking obtuse are you? Seriously. Do you have any idea of how the real world works?” Her words snap like a spiked whip, ripping into my flesh. “You don’t get to bring a scholarship from school to school like a fucking Black Amex. You get expelled, that money disappears. And when I applied for new ones the following year, they all got rejected because of the expulsion.”

Beads of sweat pop against my back. That was not what I meant to do. She had to get away from my father, she had to get away from me, but I thought she could just use it…

“I worked my ass off my entire life. Do you have any idea how much shit I had to wade through to actually make it out of my neighborhood and into a prestigious private university? I gave up friends, my childhood, for this dream, and you destroyed it.” Tears flow, and she swipes at them with angry hands. “Why would you do this? Is this because you knew how much I liked you and devised some sort of sick fucking twisted game of getting rid of me?”

The words hit me with such force that I feel my body sway. What? What the hell is she talking about? “No, no, that’s not true. You were with my father. He was pulling you in. You wanted him.”

“What in the absolute fuck are you talking about? I was never interested in your father. I was only ever interested in you. I used to wait for you to stop by at the coffee shop I worked at. Every time you came to your dad’s office, I’d get flustered, hoping you’d talk to me even though I knew I wasn’t good enough for you and… fuck you. Seriously, fuck you.” She spits out the frantic, flustered words with harsh fury. “Even so, how dare you strip me of my entire future? You’re fucking sick, Theo. Sick.”

The way she’s looking at me, the pain, the anger, the betrayal, twists my stomach tight with the realization that I’m losing her.

But… this isn’t true. She’s confusing reality. I saw her everywhere because I looked for her. I went into his stupid office all the time just to catch a glimpse. I talked to her at the coffee shop, and she gave me the same polite smile she gave everyone else—nothing more. The one time I asked her out, she ditched me for my father.

I’m going to choke, my veins are tight cords strangling the air from my chest. She doesn’t understand—but she has to. I had to get her away from him.

I pull her into me, desperate to keep her from leaving. She slaps at me, but I keep my hold. If she can feel me—feel my presence—she’ll understand. She’ll know I’m sincere, that everything I did, I did for her.

“Why did you do this?” she asks, pushing me, scratching me, flailing against me, and I take it. I’ll absorb the hits and claws ripping at my chest, the frustration and the tears, as long as she’ll listen to me. “Why?” she pulls back, breathless and wiping her tears. “Why did you do this to me?”

“I was saving you.”

“Saving me? Are you actually serious right now?” She pulls in a ragged breath. “You’re so fucking delusional. You ruined me, Theo. You didn’t save me.”

No, she doesn’t understand. There were the girls that killed themselves, and the ones that dropped out, and the ones that got into drugs, and the ones he ruined, and she doesn’t understand… “You didn’t know what you were getting in to. You couldn’t have known.” I inhale hard to slow my chaotic thoughts. “My father ruined so many lives. You didn’t understand what he was capable of. You don’t know who he is. He would’ve damaged you beyond repair.”

The tear-filled eyes have swapped with white-hot anger. “I never asked to be saved. I didn’t need to be saved.”

She can be mad, that’s fine. It means she still cares. She can yell at me, hit me, scream at me as much as she wants, as long as she stays. “My father is a vindictive man. I told you about Oliva and the others. He takes what he wants, when he wants. He’s a predator. I saw him like that with you, and I had to stop it. You understand that, right? He manipulates and lies and deceives everyone.”

An ice-cold look passes her face, crystalizing her spring-green eyes into a sharp, dark emerald. “So, you’re telling me you are just like your father?”

I freeze like she slapped me. My molars grind. “I am nothing like my father.”

“You are exactly like your father.” She pulls her head high. “You lie. You manipulate and destroy. You use people for your own pathetic selfish gain, and for what? Did the world really not hand you enough? I cannot believe I thought any of this was real.”

Terror rips through me. “No… no, it is real. This is real.” Christ… my inarticulate words are falling flat. Right here, right now, she needs to hear me, whatever it takes. “This is the most fucking real I’ve ever been.”

She pulls her quivering lips into her mouth and exhales sharply through her nose. “Listen to yourself. You are getting married in two weeks. You destroyed my life and had every chance to tell me the truth—and you didn’t. You lied to me for months. You fucked me, kissed me, and held me all while pretending our past didn’t exist. None of this is real. You see that, right? This,” she gestures between us, “is not reality.”

My gut burns so tight and hot I don’t think it will ever settle. Don’t leave me. “Please Lexie, just hear me out.” Desperation drives me. I will stay here, get down on my knees and beg if I have to. “Five minutes, Lexie. Come on. Please.”

“I can’t, Theo. Fuck… fuck…” A choked sob breaks free, and she clamps a hand over her mouth. “I’ve… always just been a game to you.”

“No, no that’s not true. This isn’t a—”

“Stop! Just stop.” The raw, exhausted pain in her voice guts me to my core.

“Lexie, please.”

The gut-wrenching sob impales my soul.

She’s completely broken.