Page 65 of Turning Back

“I was allowed to leave. It was in the rules.”

“Fuck the rules,” I say, pushing her off me and sitting up.

“Come on, you guys,” Bric mumbles. “Not now.”

“No,” I say. “I’m gonna have my say and then I’m gonna let it go. I fucking hated your guts when I saw you in that hotel room. One year, Rochelle. No note, no phone call, no mention of a baby until Chella told me you kept it. You just walked away like I meant nothing. And you think you can just turn back, show up, and things would what? Go back to normal?”

“You guys,” Bric interrupts.

“I just wanted to set things right,” Rochelle says.

“And we did,” Bric says, sitting up and bringing Rochelle with him. “We sorted it out, right?” Bric looks at me, shaking his head a little, as if to say, Not now.

But why not now? If we don’t do this now, we’ll just do it later. Tomorrow, or next month, or next year—if we’re together that long. It has to be said, so why not now?

“What you did, Rochelle, was a total cunt move.”

“I said I was sorry.”

“And I told you, I accept your apology. But an apology can’t erase what you put me through. It can’t erase one year of helplessness, and sadness, and wondering where the fuck you were. What the fuck you were doing, and why the fuck you left. Why did you leave?” She opens her mouth to speak, but I interrupt her. “And don’t say because I didn’t love you. Fuck you if you think I didn’t love you.”

“Because you’re invested in the game, Quin. You wanted me and Bric. Not just me.”

“If that’s not what you want,” I say, “then why the fuck are you here?”

She stumbles for words. “I… You… We…”

“Jesus Christ,” Bric says, standing up and walking into the bathroom. “Just let it go, Quin.” He starts the shower and then comes back out. “We’re here because we want to be here, OK?”

“So you don’t care that she’s basically saying she wants me alone, and not us?” I ask.

“Do you care?” Bric asks.

“Dude,” I say. “If I wanted her to myself, I’d have her to myself.”

“I can’t believe you just said that. Admitted it,” Rochelle says.

“Why not?” I ask.

“Well, I, for one,” Bric says, “am flattered.”

“Shut up,” Rochelle growls at him. “And thanks for those spankings by the way.”

Bric shrugs. “You deserved them.”

“And,” I say, “if you didn’t want them, it’s your responsibility to say no.”

Rochelle huffs out some air. “So you’re ganging up on me now?” She’s talking to Bric. “Taking his side?”

“I’m not taking his side,” Bric says. But we both know he’s taking my side. He’s not into the couple relationships. He’s not going to be with Rochelle as a couple. Even if he was Adley’s father—and he’s not—he would not settle down with her, for fuck’s sake. “But this is what we have right now, Rochelle. The three of us. Is that something you’re interested in? Or not?”

“I am,” Rochelle says, looking at me. “I’m into the three of us, Quin. But you and I have something different.”

“Had,” I stress. “We had something different. And you know what? If you had stayed, if you had just stuck around a little longer, I would’ve left the game for you.”

“But you won’t now?”

“I don’t even know you, Rochelle.”