Page 24 of Five

The softly whispered words drag me out from the bliss of my dream.

“Wake up,” Five whispers. “We’ve got a date with a rock.”

I smile before I open my eyes. How did he know? But when I finally do open them, and our eyes, brown and blue, perfectly matched, meet… Well. I know how.

“We’re soulmates, Five Aston.” I whisper it, even though I’m out on the back porch alone this secret night. “You know it. I know it. The moon, and sky, and stars all know it. So why? Just tell me why? That’s all I want to know. Is there a special reason? Did you find someone else? Am I disappointing you? What? What is wrong with me that all I ever get from you is a goodbye?”

He sits down, making the glider sway to and fro a little. And he takes my hand to squeeze it tight. “You know none of those things are why.”

“I know. But it hurts almost as much that you refuse to trust me. Every bit as much as you finding another girl to love more. You should just trust me.”

See, here’s the thing. I know what this is probably about. I know he’s got something on his plate. Something to do with our family history. Our parents and the trouble they got into, then got out of. So if this is what’s holding us back, then why can’t he share it with me?

“Come with me,” Five says. He stands, pulls me to my feet, and we open and close the squeaky screen door. We’re silent as our bare feet walk through dew-covered grass towards the Flynn creek. And this makes me smile—even though I try to hide it—because he showed up in tan cargo shorts, white t-shirt, and bare feet tonight.

I’m only wearing underwear and my tank top. Which would’ve made me very self-conscious back in my dream memory, but right now just makes me…

“Should we go in?” he asks.

The moon lights us up, and the stars show us a private twinkling, and the night approves of our reunion. “Yes.”

We walk over to the rock and sit. Our feet know where to go. Our toes know what to do when they hit the water, and our hands never let go.

It’s perfect. A perfect moment, right here, right now, just like it was in my dream.

So we enjoy it a little longer.

Then he says, “You are the love of my life, Aurora Shrike. My heart’s desire. My soulmate. My fate. And there is nothing I want more than to give you everything you want. Show you the entire world. Make you happy.”

“Then—”

But he shushes me with a fingertip on my lips. “I can’t say why. I don’t even know why. I just know it’s not yet. That’s all, Rory. That’s all I know. And it’s God’s honest truth. I just need a little more time, and you need one more year of school, and then—”

But he stops talking.

“Then what?” I ask, after seconds roll by. “I need something, Five. I don’t know what it is, but I need something. Because I’m starting to become sad. Thinking of you makes me sad and that’s now how I want things to be. Life is short. Time is finite. And it scares the hell out of me that you might disappear and leave me with this feeling. I don’t want disappointment to be my default memory. I don’t want regrets. I want to live, and I want to do that with you by my side.”

A fish splashes in the shallow water. Crickets sing under the dark cover of trees. The moon hides behind clouds, and the stars stop twinkling.

“I have a problem, Princess.” He pulls me closer to him, lets go of my hand, but only because he wants to hug me tight.

“What problem? What is it?”

“I’m not sure yet.”

And then we share a knowing glance. He’s not going to tell me. He’s never going to say those words. And he’s afraid.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen Five Aston afraid of anything.

So I don’t push him. Maybe I don’t want to hear the truth after all. Maybe—

His hands cup mine as he turns. He kisses me. And I don’t even know how to describe this kiss. It isn’t passionate, it isn’t erotic, it isn’t innocent. It isn’t any of those things at all.

It’s… it’s… a promise.

When we pull away we come together again in our gaze. His brown ones. My blue ones. Perfectly matched.

We sigh together, our foreheads bumping up against one another.