Page 100 of Total Exposure

“I can’t,” he says.

“It was you, wasn’t it? You’re Mike.”

“I’m not Mike. Don’t be dumb. That guy is just another sad, in-it-for-the-money player. Fuckin’ tool. Just like Jordan.”

“Jordan didn’t show today,” I say, voice quivering. “I sat there and waited for him. He never came.”

Ix lets out a long breath, like he really is tired. “I’m not surprised. He had a lot going on.”

I am desperate to keep him here. I feel compelled to say something that will convince him. Change his mind about whatever it was that ruined his day and make him spend his night with me.

I consider my options. I don’t have many, but I refuse to spend tonight alone. I need him. Something. I cannot stand to be invisible now. Not after being seen by him for so many days. So I say, “Give me your story and I’ll go back upstairs.”

“I didn’t write it.”

“Liar,” I whisper. “That’s a lie, Ix. I know you wrote it. The only reason you’ve been writing it down at all was to get to the end. And this was supposed to be the end.”

“Evangeline,” he says. I can almost imagine him pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. “I can’t tonight, OK? It needs to be revised. So tomorrow.”

“No,” I say. “I’m going home tomorrow.”

He pauses. For several seconds. So long I start counting. And when I get to ten, he takes a deep breath. “Why?”

“Because we’re done here. I’m cured, I think.”

He huffs out some air. “You didn’t even play the violin yet.”

“I didn’t come here to play the violin,” I say. “And I don’t need to play it. I’m a prodigy. I know what I know. You don’t lose something like that.”

It comes out bitter and defensive.

“You don’t sound so sure,” he says.

I shift my weight onto my other foot. My hip is sore from the fall and I really want to sit down. But I refuse to go back upstairs and hide away in that bedroom.

“I want you to take me upstairs and stay with me or I want your ending. You don’t revise an ending. If you have to revise it, then it’s a lie. Are you lying to me?”

He pauses.

And that… that is what makes up my mind.

I stumble down the hallways towards him. I know he’s at the top of the stairs. And when I crash into his hard body, feel the softness of his t-shirt, I get such a sad feeling, I pull away, spin, and then my foot hits the top step and I fall.

Chapter Forty - Ixion

I catch her by the arm, jerking it hard enough to make her cry out in pain, and just barely prevent her from toppling over and falling head-first down the stairs.

“Stop,” I say, my heart beating fast at the near-fatal accident that almost happened. “Just fucking calm down and stop.”

“No,” she says, jerking her arm away. She turns and I see a massive bruise forming on her hip. It’s ugly. Already deep purple and swollen. “I’m going downstairs.”

“Then take off your fucking blindfold,” I say, reaching for it.

Her hand grabs mine. Hard. Well, I mean hard for such a tiny hand. “Do not,” she seethes, “remove my blindfold.”

“Why are you doing this?” I ask. “Why are you being so fucking difficult?”

She opens her mouth to say something. Then pauses to take a breath and tries again. “It’s not over yet,” she whispers. “I want more time here.”