Page 46 of Angels Fall

After a beat he says, “So, Tyler—”

I hold up a hand to stop him. “I don’t know. OK? I don’t. I just… The whole thing’s such a mind-fuck, I don’t know what I’m gonna do.”

“Yeah, I get that.”

“The guy I had a massive crush on for my whole childhood disappears on me, basically destroying my hope and my heart, and then after a dozen years he shows back up and we sort of fall for each other, but kinda-not-really because neither one of us immediately realize who the other is because he’s an unrecognizable version of his former self and I’m now a grown-up, oh, and also dressed like a fucking stripper because that’s what I am. Jesus. How do you navigate that relationship? There’s no roadmap for that. I mean, if you wrote that story, nobody would believe it. It’s absurd.”

Evan snorts and says, “Life’s absurd.” He’s right. He continues, “But can I tell you something? And you can ignore me or tell me to fuck off or whatever, but I feel like I wanna say it now because who the hell knows if I’ll ever see you again.”

“Stop!” I say, slapping his shoulder.

“I know, I know, I’m sorry, couldn’t resist. But here’s what I wanna say.” He pauses, looks at the floor like he’s gathering his thoughts just so, then takes my hands and looks me in the eye. “Tyler Morgan is one of the best people I’ve ever met in my life.”

I pull back, beginning to protest, but he holds onto my hands.

“He is,” Evan continues. “He truly is. He’s an idiot and can be fucking impossible—”

“Tell me about it.”

“But he has one of the best hearts of anyone I’ve ever known. And he’s loyal. He really is. And he fucked you, yes. He one hundred percent did. But he was scared and he was in the military at the time and he gave over to all that straight-alpha-male bullshit, and he forgot to take care of himself, which means he couldn’t even possibly take care of anyone else, but he’s finding his way back. And you can choose to be a part of that or not, but—and not to play therapist here, but—I think you’re on a similar journey and maybe you two could help each other. That’s it. That’s all I wanted to say.”

I close my eyes, taking it all in.

And then he adds, "Well… And this. If by chance that special place you’ve been dreaming of leads you to a lonely place… Find your strength in love.’”

He squeezes my hands. I open my eyes and blink at him.

“Is that… Whitney Houston?”

“Yep.”

“You’re giving me advice based on a Whitney Houston song?”

Evan throws a finger in the air, pulls his head back, and rolls his neck. “Girl, don’t you even think about talking smack about Whitney.”

And I bust out laughing. It feels wonderful. And like a long-forgotten skill.

“I’ve missed you,” I say, the laughter subsiding.

“I’ve missed you too, Maddie… So, listen, I don’t know if this is of any interest to you, since you’re killing it in the stripper game and all, but Robert has this huge project he’s trying to get off the ground out by the Hoover Dam, and he’s having a bitch of a time getting the surveying done and… Honestly, I have no idea. I don’t understand this shit at all, but perhaps having someone who can help him with a bird’s-eye view might be useful in some way?”

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah. This is my serious face.” He gives me the same dark expression he wears much of the time.

“Oh, my God, Evan, I’d… Yes. Please. Thank you.”

“No problem. I’ll have his assistant give you a call.”

“Oh, my God, Evan, thank you so much.”

I grab him around the neck and hug him like I never want to let go. Because I kind of don’t.

“My pleasure, Mads,” he says. And then he whispers in my ear, “I miss him every day,” and I start crying. And then he whispers, “And so does Tyler.”

And I can’t be sure, but normally unflappable and unreadable Evan might be crying a little too. I don’t know. Neither one of us lets go of our embrace or pulls back to look.

We just hold each other for several long minutes.