Page 50 of Angels Fall

“Yeah. So I called his fiancée last week—“

“Oh, shit, Annie. Why?”

“Just to say congratulations—”

“Oh, Annie…”

She shrugs. “Yeah. But I couldn’t let it go. Anyway, I did. And I said all the right things, and behaved like the most reasonable responsible adult, but… it didn’t quite work out the way I’d planned.”

“Fuck. Did she flip out on you?”

“Noooo,” Annie says. “No. That’s not what happened.”

“Then what the fuck happened?”

“He… called it off.”

“Sorry? Called off… the wedding?”

She smiles weakly and nods her head. “Yeah. Like… he called me last night and told me that my call to her made him start thinking about us and—”

“Awww, fuck,” I say.

“—and even though I didn’t mean to, looks like… I broke them up.” She throws her hands up. “Shit! I give up, Maddie. I just can’t do anything right.”

God, I know that feeling. “OK. OK. But it’s not your fault he broke it off,” I say. “I mean, if he still loves you, he still loves you. And no woman wants to marry a guy in love with someone else.”

“I get that,” she says, still sounding so defeated. “But he seemed happy enough before I made that call.”

I think about that for a second. “No,” I say. “No, he’s the one who called you to tell you about the wedding. If he was so happy, then why did he bother to do that?”

“I know. I think about that too. That maybe he was feeling me out, or trying to make me jealous, or whatever. And it worked. Because I came apart with that news. So, I think maybe he did do it on purpose. But I could’ve let it go. Just moved on and let him have his life.”

“What’s the point in that?” I ask. “I mean, then you’d both be miserable. Like two ships passing in the night. Star-crossed lovers and all that bullshit. No one needs regrets like that.”

It occurs to me there’s a lesson here. And it’s for me, not Annie.

“I don’t know why I’m telling you this. Maybe because you always know what to do.”

“Me?” I scoff. “Are you kidding? I’m a mess!”

“No,” Annie says. “You’re like… I dunno, the Mount Everest of common sense. You always think things through. You always have a plan. You always have new ideas on how to get what you want. And…” she says, then takes a deep breath. “You have limits. Lines you won’t cross just to get something. You’re loyal. And honest. And generous.” She smiles. It might be the first real smile I’ve seen on her face in weeks. “I admire that. I admire you. So… I just need to ask you this, OK? And I need your honest opinion, no matter what it is.”

I’m still a little dumbfounded that she just called me the Mount Everest of common sense. Not to mention all those other altruistic qualities I absolutely do not possess. But I say, “OK. Shoot.”

She draws in an enormous breath, like she needs a lot of courage to say these words, and then she asks on the exhale, “Do you think I’d be a terrible person if I went home and tried to work things out with him? Like, say I’m sorry for not realizing how much he meant to me? And promise to make it up to him if we can just start over again?” She places a hand on my arm, squeezing lightly. “I know I’d be leaving you guys in a terrible spot with the rent. But I’d pay you everything I could. I’d give you my share for two months, so you guys could find another roommate.”

I almost laugh. Not because it’s funny, but because it’s not even a question. “Annie,” I say, sitting all the way up to look her in the eyes. “Why wouldn’t you? I mean…” And I have to word this carefully, so I don’t make her feel worse. “You’re selling your body for money. No offense, but there is no way going back to life without that makes you a terrible person. And anyway,” I say. “You only get one soulmate in this life. And if he’s yours, then he’s yours. There’s nothing you can do about that. So, shit… Go for it.”

She smiles, but a tear falls down her cheek. “I’m going to miss you.”

I lean in and hug her. “Yeah, I’m going to miss you too.”

“And I hope you work things out with Tyler, ya know?”

I put my hands up. “OK. Let’s all just slow down.” Because I know Annie. Somehow, in spite of all the awful shit she’s seen and done, she manages to hang onto the adolescent dream that true love is out there and waiting for us and if you kiss the right frog and all that bullshit, a prince will come to rescue you. I think she has to think that shit to get through her days. Like she’s sleepwalking.

But I’m wide awake.