Page 59 of The Pleasure of Panic

And this time, I don’t come inside her pussy.

I drop her legs. She plants her feet on the floor and descends to her knees without even being told. She looks at me as I come inside her mouth, taking me deep, but not all the way into her throat. My fat cock fills her up, her lips wrapped tightly around it, with water running down her face. Her cheeks pink from the steam and the sex.

After, I wash her hair as she washes mine. It’s weird. She’s a stranger, yet she feels like she’s always been in my life. Like this is just what we do. We fuck on the couch, then we fuck in the shower, and then we wash each other’s hair. Like this is how it’s always been and always will be.

When we’re done, I dry her off, she dries me off, and we say… nothing.

I lead her into my bedroom, hand her a t-shirt and a pair of boxers. She puts them on, like she’s done this a million times before.

I put on a new pair of cut-off sweats and pull the covers aside, watching her ass wiggle inside my boxers as she crawls over to the other side.

Her side.

Then I flick off the lights and join her.

My arm stretches out and she automatically makes my shoulder her pillow as I wrap her up against me.

It’s insane.

Fucking insane.

Because even though we just met ten hours ago, she has always been here. That side of the bed, which has been empty since I moved into this apartment, has always belonged to her.

“Tomorrow,” she says, the word thick with sleep. “You’ll still be here, right?”

I can’t stop the smile. Even if I wanted to, I wouldn’t be able to. “I’m not going anywhere, babe. At least not without you.”

I don’t see it, but I feel it. Her lips curving upward against my chest.

She falls asleep immediately but I… I’m afraid to fall asleep. I’m afraid this is just a game. She’s just a dream and if I close my eyes she’s gonna disappear.

But I lose that battle.

Slowly. Surely. It finds me. It controls me. It reminds me why I’m here, what I’m doing, and that Issy Grey has nothing to do with any of it.

And then I fade into the darkness that I’ve been accustomed to.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN - ISSY

I wake to the sound of the TV in another room and for a few confusing seconds, I have no idea where I’m at. But then I smell him—the shampoo we used last night in his shower—and the whole thing comes back to me.

Not like a nightmare though. Which I have to ponder for a moment before I let my thoughts wander down the inevitable path.

Like a dream. And even though most of it has the potential to be—well, let’s be honest here since I’m only talking to myself—scary as fuck, I’m decidedly pleased with last night.

The sex. Was. Fantastic.

And I’m not even talking about the wall sex at my house, or the kink-play we did when we got here to his place. I’m talking about the stuff we did after that. The slow stuff. The seductive stuff.

“Oh, you’re awake?” Finn is standing in the doorway, leaning up against the wall. His head is cocked to one side, like he’s not sure what kind of mood I’m gonna be in, and his expression is something between fear and excitement.

The pleasure of panic, I realize.

It’s sexy as fuck. And he’s looking hotter now—wearing nothing but those same cut-off sweat shorts—than he did last night in his black Fed suit.

“I’m awake. What time is it?”

“Nine am. I should probably take you home.”