Page 111 of The Boyfriend Experience

She looks like she wants to kill me. Reach up, wrap her hands around my throat, and strangle the life out of me.

You know, kinda like the way I’ve felt about her these past few years.

I start counting. “One, two, three…”

Her emotions go through several incarnations. Rage, hate, fear, then finally sadness and surrender.

Because just as I get to the count of nine, the host on stage announces that Buffalo Brews Assassin Sour Saison is up next for tasting… and she signs.

And that, my friends, is how you take down your super-nemesis.

Sometimes the only way to win the game… is to quit the game.

CHAPTER FORTY-ONE - LAWTON

I hold Oaklee’s hand as we walk the few blocks over to Shrike Bikes in Five Points. Kinda swinging it. Smiling. Just… fuckin’ happy, I guess. And what’s not to be happy about?

Assassin Sour Saison won the competition, hands down. Even though those judges were local celebrities and don’t really know shit about beer, they knew it was different. They knew it was unique. And they knew it deserved to win.

And yeah, it was under the Buffalo Brews label, but Oaklee made Hanna admit on stage that it was Oaklee’s recipe and then tell one more lie.

That she and Oaklee brewed it together.

Then Hanna announced the sale and gave the winning trophy and check for ten thousand dollars to Oaklee in front of the whole city.

Happy. Fucking. Ending.

But hold on there. We’re not quite done yet…

“OK, what the hell are we doing?” Oaklee asks, once she figures out where we’re headed. “You said we were going up to the mountains today.”

“I gotta pick something up from Shrike. Just cool your jets, Oaks.”

Oaklee never wanted to sell the brewery. She’d rather die than sell her father’s life’s work. But she would’ve. If only to get away from Hanna Harlow. But it didn’t come to that.

And Spencer Shrike would’ve bought it, even though he didn’t want a brewery. He would’ve. If only to help his niece get out of a bind. But it didn’t come to that either.

Buffalo Brews up in Boulder had a name change and it’s in the process of being renovated. The Home TV people propositioned Oaklee and me together for another show once all this shit went down and they realized the smackdown was a non-starter. Rocky Mountain Renos.

We said no.

I open the door for Oaklee when we walk up to Shrike, hold it for her as she walks through, and then enter behind her, slipping my sunglasses up on my head.

“There he is!” Chuck bellows from across the showroom. “We got the cameras out for this one!”

“What?” Oaklee says, looking up at me, confused.

A whole crew of people come over to us. Holding microphones over our heads. Three different cameras filming as we meet Chuck in front of the cash register.

“Just go with it,” I say, squeezing her hand before letting go to first shake Oliver’s hand, then Spencer’s.

I feel like a kid meeting his idol for the first time when he grips my hand and says, “You promise to take good care of her?” as he nods his head.

For a second I think he’s talking about the bike I’m about to buy. The one he made custom many years ago and is now selling to make room for more.

But then I realize he’s talking about Oaklee.

So I nod back, and say, “I promise.”