Page 29 of The Square

I sometimes think that she’s been playing a character for so long, she occasionally has to fumble around trying to find the real her.

I find it challenging that I am compelled to ask the question a third time: “So, then, what is it? That you want?”

She shrugs. It makes her look impish and younger than she is. “I dunno, luv. I suppose, what with us being here for as long as we seem to be stashed away, you should just be aware. In the event that I, you know, start to give birth or anything.”

“Stop being so goddamn clever!” I bellow.

She breathes out. Closes her eyes. “I’m sorry. Truly, I am. I’m just taking the piss.” She stands and walks to me again. Carefully this time. “Look, Alec, I just thought you should know. I don’t expect anything from you. All right? I really don’t. I don’t even plan to tell the boys it’s yours.”

“Your brothers?”

She nods. “They’ll want to kill you. But then you’ll likely wind up killing them because you have endless resources and a private army and all that tosh”—she rolls her eyes—“and that would be terribly sad for everyone. So, I figure, best to just avoid the whole thing altogether.”

I can feel my brow furrow as I stare at her. “So you’re definitely going to have it?”

“I am. I’ve decided. And truth be told… that’s why I’m only just telling you now.”

“There was a point where you were considering not having it?”

She nods. “But then I thought”—she reaches up and strokes my cheek—“God forbid you should ever find out that happened. God forbid. Because who knows what daft fucking thing you might go and do then? Fragile as you are.”

I grab her wrist and pull her hand from my face. “Don’t you suggest that this is some grand act of generosity on your part.”

“All right. Fine, Alec. I won’t. Maybe… maybe it’s just that I want to have a baby.” She bows her head slightly and casts her eyes upward, looking at me intensely. “And maybe the real reason I debated saying anything is because I would never, in a million bloody years, luv, want that baby to be raised by you.”

I can feel myself expanding. I can feel time slowing and the air getting thick. I can feel my fists balling. And so, before I can feel anything else…

I wrap my coat around me, turn on my heels, and walk out the door.

CHAPTER NINE - CHRISTINE

We stoppedat the shops on Oxford Street to get some warmer clothes. Which seems indulgent both because of Alec’s situation and because we spent a little over eight thousand dollars on just a couple of outfits. But Alec has been in his present situation for months and money hasn’t mattered to me in a very long time.

So I just go with it.

We separate, as is our custom it seems, and meet up two hours later dressed like assassins.

I cover my mouth with my hand to hide my laugh.

“What?” Danny says, sliding his dark sunglasses down his nose to he can peer at me with those beautiful eyes of his.

“Why do we bother shopping separately,” I ask, “when we turn up looking like twins?” I don’t slide my dark sunglasses down my nose to allow him a look at my beautiful eyes.

He checks me out. I’m in all black. Black leather jacket—kind of a thin one so I can fight, and move quick, and draw guns in it. Underneath, which he can’t see, is a black t-shirt. Just a simple one. And I have on dark jeans and a new pair of black sneakers that are quite literally the best shoe for what we’re probably gonna need to do.

Danny has the same outfit, men’s version. Little bit heavier black leather jacket. But he didn’t get one with lots of zippers or metal studs like he usually does, and I can only assume that this is the stealth version of Danny’s leather jacket. He’s also got on dark jeans, but unlike me he opted for a pair of black work boots. Probably steel-toed. Danny was always partial to kicking people in the teeth.

He reaches over, pinches my cheek, and says, “You’re cute. Now what, genius? You gonna let me in on your little plan?”

Here’s the problem with my plan.

I don’t actually have one. Not a solid one, anyway. I have ideas. Ideas about where Alec is, why he’s there, and how we can get him out with the least amount of fuss.

But I don’t want Danny to know how precarious this half-plan is just yet. Not until we get there, at least. Because it’s gonna be touchy. Alec’s with people and possibly involved in things I can’t quite wrap my head around yet.

All I know is that something big is happening. Big with a capital B at the front.

So I say, “It’s not far. About an hour outside London.”