Page 104 of Jesse

“His brother? Ruined his life?” It’s only then I fully realize that neither Johnny nor Jesse are here. “Where are they?”

Zach looks past me and I turn to see what he’s fixated on.

Another door. “Where’s that go?”

“Upstairs,” he says. “I think that’s where they are.”

I head toward the door, pull it open, and start running up the stairs. It occurs to me that I am so deep inside the innards of this building, no one would ever hear me scream. I could get lost in this place. I could never come out.

There is nothing but silence when I reach the next door. Zach is behind me. Quiet now. We look at each other. Then up. Because there’s one more floor above us. Zach shakes his head. Not up there, that shake says. Then he sucks in a deep breath of air, reaches for the door in front of us, and pulls it open.

Jesse is the first person I see. He looks at me, open-mouthed. Like he has something to say. But before he can, Johnny says, “Take her somewhere far away.” He juts his chin to me. “Get her out of here and never come back. I’ll take care of everything, I promise.”

“What?” Jesse says. “What the fuck are you talking about?” His voice is loud and it’s clear that he’s just as confused as I am.

“I’m talking about who we are, Jesse. What we are. What we do.”

“What do we do?” Zach says.

Johnny looks at him and says, “You don’t have to do anything. None of you do.”

“Then why did you bring me up here?” Jesse asks. “What does this fucking”—he looks around—“office have to do with anything?”

“You don’t remember any of it?” Johnny asks him. “Not even where those lead to?” He motions to the stairs behind Zach and me.

Jess stares at the darkness behind me, squinting his eyes. “The… spire,” he whispers.

I glance at Johnny quick enough to see him nod. “The spire. We were up there once, remember? Dad told us to go up there and watch.” Johnny takes a few steps closer to Jesse and I have a sudden urge to stand between them. There’s something wrong with him. Something deeply disturbing. And what is up with his outfit? He looks like… he looks like a cross between a general and… an evangelist.

“You want to know?” Johnny says. “You really want to know?”

I glance at Jesse as he nods. “Yes,” he says. “Tell me.”

But Johnny shakes his head. “I have to show you.”

“OK,” Zach says, “Maybe he’s right, Jesse. Maybe we should just leave. I mean”—Zach shakes his head—“maybe not knowing is better.”

“You don’t know anything yet,” Johnny says. “You can walk away. Just… be who you are, Jesse. And you too, Zach,” he says, looking at Zach. “But if you go up there, there’s no turning back. Once you know, you can’t un-know.”

Jesse hesitates. Looks at me, then Johnny, then Zach. Then back to me. He reaches for my hand, like we’re gonna leave, but I say, “No,” and take a step backward. “No way.”

All of them look at me. But I’m talking to Johnny now. That’s what Joey said to do. Tell it to the one who bites.

“We’re not running. Fuck that. Do you even know who I am?”

Zach lets out a small laugh.

“I am the goddamned numbers girl for the fifth largest cosmetics company on the planet Earth! That’s the entire planet of Earth! And I have friends, OK? Powerful friends. Bossy friends who aren’t afraid to drug and kidnap for revenge. I drive a motherfucking Lamborghini Huracán in matte black. I am one-fourth owner of the biggest pink jet ever made and… and I have three massive brothers who know how to… fish. You get me?” I say, pointing my finger at them. “This bullshit ends now.”

No one says anything. And Johnny just blinks at me a few times.

So I sigh and give Jesse my full attention. “Look. OK, I will admit that this is all totally weird and I’m pretty sure I don’t understand any of it. But I love you, OK? There. I said it. I love you and I see that this family is ruining you.” I point to Johnny. “You’re the one who sent that footage to the tabloids. And I want answers, motherfucker. All the goddamned answers!”

A slow clap echoes out from the stairwell and we all turn our heads to find Joey. Smug and maybe kinda proud, even though his left eye is totally swollen shut. He says, “I was coming up here to say all that and tell everyone I’m in charge now because Johnny has obviously gone insane, just like our fathers. But fuck it. I think the lady has it handled.”

I straighten my back and raise my chin. Look directly at Johnny and say, “What is going on?”

He looks at Jesse, then Joey, then Zach, then me. And says, “Go upstairs. Be very quiet. And don’t let anyone see you. I’ll meet you back down here when it’s over.”