Page 34 of Joey

“I don’t know for sure. But they’ve been out of my life for a very long time and I don’t expect them to ever come back.” And then she smiles. “Those security people can run a background check on me if they’d like. They’re not going to find anything.”

“You’re super sure about that?” I ask.

“One hundred percent.” And she crosses her heart with a fingertip.

“Well,” Wald says, “we’ll fight the check anyway. They’re a bunch of assholes.”

“One more thing,” I say, holding up a hand. Because I don’t trust her. She’s too willing. Too easy. Too convenient. “What are you getting out of this, Brooke? Why are you helping us?”

She opens her mouth to reply, but Wald beats her to it. “Don’t say doors, Brooke. There’s more to it than that. The Boston family is no joke.”

I side-eye Wald.

“You know what I mean,” he says, noticing my look. But then he directs his gaze to Brooke again. “You saw Johnny Boston. That guy is fucking serious with a capital S. There might be more to this than you realize. And if you’re not really doing it for the money, just the opportunity, then…” He shakes his head. “Sorry, I’m not buying it.”

“Well,” she says, taking a moment to consider this. “I’m alone now. And I’ve never really been alone. I’ve never had a lot of people looking out for me. But I always had one. And he’s gone now.” She glances my way. “Really gone. Like no chance of ever coming back kind of gone.”

“The one you were just referring to,” I say.

“No,” She says. “That guy was a nobody to me. But I did have a somebody for a very long time and… and now I don’t.”

“OK. Go on,” I say.

“And maybe I’m not cut out to be alone? I’ve had several weeks to think about this now. How my life changed so suddenly. And you know the one thing I’ve realized? I don’t like being alone. I need more than this. I need a team. I need people who get me. People I can be myself with. Because in the real world, I do not fit in and no one understands the real me.”

“Professional liar,” Huck mutters.

Brooke shrugs. “Being able to admit that’s what I am? It’s a big deal. I’ve been a girl with secrets for as long as I can remember. And today that changed. I need... friends.”

“Friends?” Huck asks.

“Yeah.” Brooke shrugs. “I want to hang around after we get Maisy back. That can be my payment.”

“Friendship?” Wald asks.

“Is it weird?” And now she’s looking at me.

I frown at her. Not in annoyance or even sadness. But in understanding.

Because this is me as well.

I hate being alone. That’s why I give no fucks what Wald and Huck do. There is literally nothing they could do to make me leave or break up our friendship. I am in this arrangement forever. Until they kick me out, I’m staying. I don’t want to be Brooke. I don’t want to be left drifting. That scares the fuck out of me. So I get it.

Sometimes Huck, and Wald, and I talk about the future. Because nothing lasts forever. We all know that. Still, I hold on to this idea that we are permanent. We’ve talked about girls and getting serious with one. But I always say no. And thank God, so far, they’ve always let me say no.

They let me cling to my rigid one-night-stand worldview.

Not that I am some kind of ringleader or anything. I’m not. There’s no real leader. At least on the personal side. Wald definitely runs the business. But our private lives are unequivocally equal.

I say no steady girl, they go along.

Sometimes I think it’s wrong of me. Maybe even selfish of me. Because I know that Wald and Huck both picture themselves with families one day.

And I don’t.

At least, not that kind. Not the traditional kind.

Not even when I get Maisy back. I’m just not wired that way. If Brooke does stick around. If we do become friends, then that’s all it will ever be. Just friends.