Page 230 of Johnny

door, and I’ve caught him sneaking out of the house at three in morning twice. Trucker hat pulled

down over his brows, shiftily looking side to side, and he rolls their shop van down the slant of the

driveway in neutral and then pops it into gear once he’s a couple houses away.

Like he doesn’t want to wake up Silvia, I deduce.

I followed him last night but he ended up at a fish market and spent the next two hours playing

chess with some other old geezer.

Normally I’d call it quits after that. I mean, how much trouble can one giant, old man get into,

right? But then, just this morning, I was cruising past Alonzo’s house—he stays in the Dumas house to

my left—and I just happened to peek in the window and catch him Skyping with a nerdy girl. Talking

in a funny accent, fake glasses on his face, and telling her all about his accounting business.

Also, normally, I would not be questioning someone with information I gathered while peeping, but

I don’t really care for the term ‘accounting’ anymore. And it got my hackles up.

“What the fuck are you doing?” I said. Because the window was open.

He hastily said goodbye to the girl, cut the Skype call, and then turned around and pointed his finger at me. “What the fuck, dude? You ever hear of privacy?”

“Why are you lying to her?”

“None of your goddamned business. Aren’t you leaving yet?”

“Are you catfishing that chick?”

He walked over to the window, slammed the sash down, and then pulled the curtains closed.

Yeah, that’s when I decided the Dumas clan was up to something—and pardon the pun here—fishy.

But you know what?

None of my goddamned business. After all, I’m not related to them. I have my own shit to think

about. I can’t be worried about some rando Jesse girlfriend’s family secrets, right?

But then… then… that asshole little brother of mine proposed to Emma. Just this afternoon,

actually.

And that’s when this fishy shit became my business.

“Stop it,” Megan chastises. Pinching my arm.

“What? I’m not even doing anything.”

“You’re glaring at him,” she hisses. Meaning Alonzo.

“Yeah, well. He’s catfishing that girl and I don’t like it. And the dad, he’s fartin’ around in a fish

market at three AM. If that’s not fishy, I don’t know what is.”