Page 76 of Johnny

put away all my new clothes and change into swim trunks, but even so, she doesn’t wake up. So I take

her bags into her room and put those away too.

Then I walk through the billowing white curtains and onto the patio. The cabaña is beachfront and I

make a mental note to thank Logan tonight when he calls.

Dude is good to me and I appreciate it.

I know he and AJ have been best friends for a long time, and they are tight. Always had each

other’s backs when we were younger. I wouldn’t call AJ a friend, but I do call Logan one.

Maybe… possibly… my only one.

Definitely my only true one.

I can’t even call Jesse or Joey friends. We’re not friends. We’re just brothers.

Anyway. An afternoon on the beach. Beautiful island, beautiful resort, beautiful day.

I don’t have days like this. There is no such thing as a down day in my life. Ever. So fuck it. I’m

gonna enjoy it.

I walk straight out to the water. Right into the surf. And when I’m waist deep I dive headfirst into a

wave.

My world becomes this eerie, but calm, place of muted incoherent noise. An echo of the life above

surrounds me and if I could take a deep breath underwater, I would. But even though I can’t, I feel the

results of such a breath and the tension and stress I’ve been carrying around for the last five years

begins to roll off my body and float away. Just falls into the current—probably gonna wash up on the

shore and wait for me to come out of this protective womb of a sea so it can hop right back on.

But I don’t care.

If there’s one thing I’ve come to terms with, it’s the idea that everything is temporary.

All the bad eventually fades away just like the good.

I aim for the surface, breach the water, and close my eyes as I tip my head up towards the sun.

And I decide I like this feeling.

I like this ocean.

And I get it, Logan. I do.

I fuckin’ get it.

I swim out as far as I dare. I’m not an especially talented swimmer. I don’t even remember how I

learned to swim. It’s just a skill leftover from some long-forgotten other life. A child’s life. Another